Ego-Maniac Guy

Granted, ego-maniac could potentially describe just about any guy, but this one is in a class by himself. I met the guy on an online dating site. He looked cute, but had almost nothing on his profile, however the little he did include, I thought might show compatibility.

I started by sending him an email to the account he listed on the website. We emailed back and forth a little and then started IMing. I talked with him mostly at work, because I don't sit online once I get home.

Within the first conversation or two I realized I had no desire to meet the guy. First of all he didn't show any interest in me. He started by asking what I wanted to know about him, as if he was some wonderful mystery I was dying to learn about.

I started by asking him questions, thinking he'd then turn around and either ask me the same ones or at least ask different questions....but no. After talking for only 5 minutes on IM, he asked what I thought about him. I told him I really didn't know much yet. We talked a little more and then he went offline.

I thought our conversations might develop as he perhaps developed interest in me, and wanting to know about me. I may have a complete profile filled out, but it's not everything about me. I do have depth, which I quickly learned he had no interest in learning.

I felt like I had to fight with him to ask me anything. At one point I believe I wrote in all caps, demanding that he ask me anything. I couldn't believe the guy was so inept at basic socializing skills. Hadn't he ever had a relationship before? Did only talking about himself work in the past?

I would never find out those answers, because the only question he wanted to know was what I thought about him. It reminded me of the phrase "Enough talk about me; What do you think of me?" This guy should be on the poster for it. He even point blank asked me when I was going to get around to asking him out! I couldn't believe it! Was he joking? If he was, I thought one rude joke deserved another, so I asked "Would you like me to bring flowers and candy when I pick you up?". He replied, "No candy. It doesn't fit in my diet." Okay, now who was joking? Did he realize I was making fun of him or was he now making fun of me?

I told him I didn't think I knew him well enough yet, and then we started arguing over the fact that he really hadn't shown any interest in me. He defended himself by saying he was better in person. I doubt that. If you can't come up with few basic questions over a 30 min period of time over the internet, how are you going to come up with anything better in person? Conversation usually moves along quicker in person, buddy. I'm not sure you could handle it.

By the next week he'd stopped writing me and I eventually took him off my contact list and blocked him. Maybe there's a perfect mirror out there he could buy, and then he wouldn't have to hassle with conversation. Good luck, Pickupman (That better be what kind of vehicle you own and not a reference to your womanizing skills)!

Matchmaker Mom

Out of all the family and friends who have ventured to give me relationship advice, or who have tried to match me up, my parents have the worst ideas. They, like so many others, are well-intentioned and it might even start out sounding like a good idea, but as I've found it probably isn't.
Recently my mom attempted to set me up with one of my dad's employees. I have never met the guy, but from time to time my mom will talk about him, so I have some idea of what the guy looks like and where he's from. This particular evening, when we were having supper she became more insistent that I really did need to find some excuse to go to my dad's office to meet not only my "match" but Justin, who also is incredibly attractive, I'm told.

My mom begins to give more details about "Jon". Jon is an intern with my dad. He's from Holland and plans on returning when he's done with his internship in a few months. According to mom, he has the cutest Dutch accent. He's tall, is in good shape because he works out with Justin, very nice, dresses well and is just incredibly cute.

Okay, I'm seeing a few things here. First of all, he's my dad's employee! Is no one else noticing the potential disaster here? Second, he's moving to another continent soon. Who doesn't love a long, long distance relationship? Third, in order to meet him I'd practically have to stalk the guy. And fourth, although not a big deal, he's like five years younger than me...where in this is mom thinking "great idea"!?

My mom continues to insist that she or I will have to come up with a plan to get me over there. Then she goes on to tell me that Jon's only friend in town is Justin, and when Justin's out of town he has no one to keep him company...he has a fully furnished apartment and wouldn't it be nice if he had "someone" to go out with or stay in and watch movies with?

It now dawns on me that my mom isn't so much looking for my soulmate, she's just looking for me to hook up with someone!? My mother is trying to pimp me out to my dad's intern? Am I the only one that sees the wrong in this? I am not the "hooking up" type of girl, although this guy is evidently so hot that lowering my morals and my priorities just this once would be worth it...? And here I thought parents were supposed to look out for their children.

Side Note: Last summer both of my parents tried setting me up with Justin until they found out he was actually in a relationship. Oops! I guess employees don't always share their personal lives with their bosses and their spouses. Who knew?:-P

The conversation went on for a few minutes, and then finished with my mom and I brainstorming ideas on how I can meet Jon without it looking obvious, although I'd doubt that me showing up at my dad's office would cause everyone to think, "She's here to meet men." My guess is most people wouldn't care.