What happened with the guy my aunt wanted to set me up with...
And another single guy in my apartment building...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
The Dog-Crapper Guy
I have moved into a new apartment and found the people in my new building are much more friendly than the people in my last apartment, who were all crazy. Everyone in my new building complex owns a dog, or at least a good 98% do, from what I've been told.
I was coming home from work one day this fall when I ran into a guy on the landing inside my apartment building. Actually, he was holding the door for me. He seemed pretty nice and I had no intention of stopping to talk to him, but he began talking to me. I'd never seen him before or his doberman pinscher "puppy". When I told him I'd never seen him before he was surprised, and explained he is around a lot.
We talked for about 5-10 minutes on the landing, while his dog decided to take a crap at the bottom of the stairs, in which Jason said,"I knew he was going to do that." Great, I'm so impressed. Each of us went through a short history of our lives, and he started asking me about hanging out sometime. He asked for my phone number and I, thinking he seemed normal, gave it to him.
He then texted me, once I got up to my apartment, so I'd have his number. He then also texted another 3 or 4 times, asking if I liked Starbucks, where I work out and if I wanted to play pool some time. He was starting to become a bother. Obviously he's not a "take life as it comes" kind of guy.
In all, he asked about going to see a horror movie. I don't watch horror at all, because I wake up screaming bloody murder and others sleeping in the same house do not appreciate the sound. He also asked about playing pool. I had a boyfriend who used to win pool tournaments, so if he couldn't get me interestd in the game no one can. He also wanted to know where I work out and thought we could work out together. This guy recently left the army and is huge, where I am very thin and never work out. I can't imagine how we'd end up exercising together. I was getting the definite impression that we had nothing in common.
Later that night (about 4 hrs) he texted me again, wanting to know if I was busy and wanted to hang out. I thought this was a little too much. I'd talked to him less than 4 hrs ago. Couldnt we have set up something then, if both of us wanted to see each other again that day?
The next evening he texted me again as I was about to go out for evening. He wanted to know if wanted to join him at Caribou. Mind you, 24hrs before I had told him I'm hardly ever busy but do have two parties I was attending the next day. After getting the flood of texts the day before I was getting annoyed so I reminded him I'd told him about my plans the day before when we'd met. He wrote back saying he'd forgotten I was busy this weekend and didn't contact me all weekend. He evidently believes that if one is busy on Friday they must be busy all weekend long. That was not what I had said at all, but was somewhat relieved he would be leaving me alone.
On Monday afternoon he texted me at work to see if I wanted to go out for coffee. I agreed, but said I was going to be busy later in the evening, so it couldn't be long. He took it to mean I was wanting to get together immediately. I had to remind him I was at work and meant late afternoon.
Later that afternoon I cancelled on him, realizing that I was coming up with all sorts of excuses to get out of the non-date. He is a college student, studying Criminal Justice, which seemed ironic that he would be so close to a creepy stalker, until a friend told me about a study she'd read about. It said cops and criminals have similar desires and personalities. The difference is the cops know when to say when.
That night he caught on that I was avoiding him. I explained I was not interested in a relationship right now and that I was not used to men being so forward. He responded saying he had just wanted to be friends. I thought that was rather funny, since I've never run into a person who was so fervent in just pursuing a "friendship."
I saw him this last Sunday morning, after not seeing him for over a month, and he was watching his dogs outside, while he stood inside in a ugly brown bathrobe. As I walked outside he complimented me on my pajama pants I was still wearing. Don't ask me why.
I was coming home from work one day this fall when I ran into a guy on the landing inside my apartment building. Actually, he was holding the door for me. He seemed pretty nice and I had no intention of stopping to talk to him, but he began talking to me. I'd never seen him before or his doberman pinscher "puppy". When I told him I'd never seen him before he was surprised, and explained he is around a lot.
We talked for about 5-10 minutes on the landing, while his dog decided to take a crap at the bottom of the stairs, in which Jason said,"I knew he was going to do that." Great, I'm so impressed. Each of us went through a short history of our lives, and he started asking me about hanging out sometime. He asked for my phone number and I, thinking he seemed normal, gave it to him.
He then texted me, once I got up to my apartment, so I'd have his number. He then also texted another 3 or 4 times, asking if I liked Starbucks, where I work out and if I wanted to play pool some time. He was starting to become a bother. Obviously he's not a "take life as it comes" kind of guy.
In all, he asked about going to see a horror movie. I don't watch horror at all, because I wake up screaming bloody murder and others sleeping in the same house do not appreciate the sound. He also asked about playing pool. I had a boyfriend who used to win pool tournaments, so if he couldn't get me interestd in the game no one can. He also wanted to know where I work out and thought we could work out together. This guy recently left the army and is huge, where I am very thin and never work out. I can't imagine how we'd end up exercising together. I was getting the definite impression that we had nothing in common.
Later that night (about 4 hrs) he texted me again, wanting to know if I was busy and wanted to hang out. I thought this was a little too much. I'd talked to him less than 4 hrs ago. Couldnt we have set up something then, if both of us wanted to see each other again that day?
The next evening he texted me again as I was about to go out for evening. He wanted to know if wanted to join him at Caribou. Mind you, 24hrs before I had told him I'm hardly ever busy but do have two parties I was attending the next day. After getting the flood of texts the day before I was getting annoyed so I reminded him I'd told him about my plans the day before when we'd met. He wrote back saying he'd forgotten I was busy this weekend and didn't contact me all weekend. He evidently believes that if one is busy on Friday they must be busy all weekend long. That was not what I had said at all, but was somewhat relieved he would be leaving me alone.
On Monday afternoon he texted me at work to see if I wanted to go out for coffee. I agreed, but said I was going to be busy later in the evening, so it couldn't be long. He took it to mean I was wanting to get together immediately. I had to remind him I was at work and meant late afternoon.
Later that afternoon I cancelled on him, realizing that I was coming up with all sorts of excuses to get out of the non-date. He is a college student, studying Criminal Justice, which seemed ironic that he would be so close to a creepy stalker, until a friend told me about a study she'd read about. It said cops and criminals have similar desires and personalities. The difference is the cops know when to say when.
That night he caught on that I was avoiding him. I explained I was not interested in a relationship right now and that I was not used to men being so forward. He responded saying he had just wanted to be friends. I thought that was rather funny, since I've never run into a person who was so fervent in just pursuing a "friendship."
I saw him this last Sunday morning, after not seeing him for over a month, and he was watching his dogs outside, while he stood inside in a ugly brown bathrobe. As I walked outside he complimented me on my pajama pants I was still wearing. Don't ask me why.
Miss Me?
I have not written since August 10. They say you should blog every day to keep a good readership going. It has been exactly four months since I last blogged, not a good pattern to be in. It's not that I haven't had any experiences to write about, its just that I tried to forget the experiences instead of writing them down.
Now I have changed my mind and am retro-actively will describe in as much detail as I can, the dating experiences I've had between August 10th and Decemeber 10th.
I have not been on any actual dates, but I will do my best to entertain you anyway.
Now I have changed my mind and am retro-actively will describe in as much detail as I can, the dating experiences I've had between August 10th and Decemeber 10th.
I have not been on any actual dates, but I will do my best to entertain you anyway.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Dating Disaster Songs
1. Battlefield by Jordin Sparks
2. If I Were a Boy by Beyonce
3. Hot & Cold by Katy Perry
4. My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne
5. Womanizer by Britney Spears
6. Piece of My Heart by Janice Joplin
(in progress)
2. If I Were a Boy by Beyonce
3. Hot & Cold by Katy Perry
4. My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne
5. Womanizer by Britney Spears
6. Piece of My Heart by Janice Joplin
(in progress)
Monday, August 3, 2009
If He's Just Texting You...
A Few Things I Have Learned About Texters:
(men specifically)
1. If he only texts you, it means he doesn't want to waste actual minutes on you
2. If he is willing to argue with you for an hour and a half over texting, but claims he's too busy to call you to have an actual conversation - he's not only inconsiderate of you, but he's not thinking about whoever he's "busy" with either.
3. If he only texts you after midnight, and is always drunk when he does so, he's not viewing you as a long-term relationship.
4. If you've told him time and time again not to contact you after a certain time, and he contacts you anyways, he obviously doesn't respect you, and probably never will.
5. If he doesn't respond to your phone calls, and only your texts - he doesn't consider you an actual human being and would prefer to imagine you as non-human as possible.
Now, I'm not getting down on texters. I do some texting myself, but it is to send a quick declarative statement or a simple question. I do not send out texts with open ended questions that could lead to conversation. Talking on the phone vs. texting is just as distracting to me as it is to the people around me. If you want a conversation call. If you don't have time to call don't ask the long questions. The person on the other end may feel like they're being short-changed and like you don't care. You might as well just send the text saying "I don't care enough about you to call so I'm texting you instead."
(men specifically)
1. If he only texts you, it means he doesn't want to waste actual minutes on you
2. If he is willing to argue with you for an hour and a half over texting, but claims he's too busy to call you to have an actual conversation - he's not only inconsiderate of you, but he's not thinking about whoever he's "busy" with either.
3. If he only texts you after midnight, and is always drunk when he does so, he's not viewing you as a long-term relationship.
4. If you've told him time and time again not to contact you after a certain time, and he contacts you anyways, he obviously doesn't respect you, and probably never will.
5. If he doesn't respond to your phone calls, and only your texts - he doesn't consider you an actual human being and would prefer to imagine you as non-human as possible.
Now, I'm not getting down on texters. I do some texting myself, but it is to send a quick declarative statement or a simple question. I do not send out texts with open ended questions that could lead to conversation. Talking on the phone vs. texting is just as distracting to me as it is to the people around me. If you want a conversation call. If you don't have time to call don't ask the long questions. The person on the other end may feel like they're being short-changed and like you don't care. You might as well just send the text saying "I don't care enough about you to call so I'm texting you instead."
Dennis's Matchmaking Service
Are you a foreigner coming to the U.S for an extended period of time in the near future, and would like a girlfriend? Look no further than Dennis's Matchmaking Service. He has a female coworker who is single and is right for just about anyone, after all aren't all single people the same?
Last week I was confronted with the idea of being matched up with a colleague I've never heard of, from India. My friend/coworker evidently was talking to this guy over IM, who thought he may be coming to the U.S soon for training. He was looking to get a girlfriend, and my name was given or something. I'm not completely sure. Dennis began talking to me about him and how nice he was, and how different he is compared to the other guys I've gone out with, hilighting a few major points as being jerks, stupid and being gay. Okay, so my very first boyfriend ever, turned out to be gay. I was six at the time, how was I to know?
Anyway, he kept talking about how nice this guy was and how quickly he'd learned English and could use slang and shorthand. He then sent me a picture of the guy, stating that a fellow female coworker of ours said he was cute. I'm sure he would be after I pulled out my machete and hacked down the uni-brow into a pair of brows instead. Dennis also reported the guy liked Chinese food. I can imagine our first date already...first stop salon, and end at a Chinese buffet down the street.
As it turns out, he will not be coming to the U.S. Only his boss will be coming, and no one mentioned him needing a date.
Last week I was confronted with the idea of being matched up with a colleague I've never heard of, from India. My friend/coworker evidently was talking to this guy over IM, who thought he may be coming to the U.S soon for training. He was looking to get a girlfriend, and my name was given or something. I'm not completely sure. Dennis began talking to me about him and how nice he was, and how different he is compared to the other guys I've gone out with, hilighting a few major points as being jerks, stupid and being gay. Okay, so my very first boyfriend ever, turned out to be gay. I was six at the time, how was I to know?
Anyway, he kept talking about how nice this guy was and how quickly he'd learned English and could use slang and shorthand. He then sent me a picture of the guy, stating that a fellow female coworker of ours said he was cute. I'm sure he would be after I pulled out my machete and hacked down the uni-brow into a pair of brows instead. Dennis also reported the guy liked Chinese food. I can imagine our first date already...first stop salon, and end at a Chinese buffet down the street.
As it turns out, he will not be coming to the U.S. Only his boss will be coming, and no one mentioned him needing a date.
My Boss's Daughter
Noo, this isn't a review of the 2003 Ashton Kutchter and Tara Reid movie. In this little scenario I am the boss's daughter, and my parents are making a second round...(or third perhaps) of matching me up with one of my dad's assistants. This is the second with "Nick". They wanted me to meet him last summer too, but then they realized he actually had girlfriend. Oops! Evidently, he doesn't always keep his boss abreast of his dating life. Please respond to this if you do.
However, I learned at a recent family dinner, that "Nick" broke up with his girlfriend, and is now available. This guy just graduated from college last summer, and I graduated from college the firsdt time, before he'd graduated high school. However, he is a year older now, and in the rebound stage...perfect for jumping into a commited relationship with your boss's daughter ;-)
I still have never met the guy since opportunities for me to stop by my dad's office, on the other end of town, no where near even shopping, to say I'm in the neighborhood. Fortunately for me, an opportunity has presented itself. I am moving and will need help with my heavy and bulky furniture pieces. Not to worry everyone! "Nick" has been contacted on my behalf ,and will be present on the important day. I will no doubt, look worse that day than any other day of the year. That's how it works right? You meet the hot guy when you look your absolute worst? Oh and considering I am somewhat of a control freak, he'll be able to see that full force that day. I tend to be very organized and focused on moving days.
However, I learned at a recent family dinner, that "Nick" broke up with his girlfriend, and is now available. This guy just graduated from college last summer, and I graduated from college the firsdt time, before he'd graduated high school. However, he is a year older now, and in the rebound stage...perfect for jumping into a commited relationship with your boss's daughter ;-)
I still have never met the guy since opportunities for me to stop by my dad's office, on the other end of town, no where near even shopping, to say I'm in the neighborhood. Fortunately for me, an opportunity has presented itself. I am moving and will need help with my heavy and bulky furniture pieces. Not to worry everyone! "Nick" has been contacted on my behalf ,and will be present on the important day. I will no doubt, look worse that day than any other day of the year. That's how it works right? You meet the hot guy when you look your absolute worst? Oh and considering I am somewhat of a control freak, he'll be able to see that full force that day. I tend to be very organized and focused on moving days.
The New Mexican Match Up
I have the greatest family. I really do. All they want is for their daughter/granddaughter/niece/cousin to be happi (ly married). I should not have been surprised when my dear aunt tried to match me up with a guy who lives about a thousand miles away from me. I remember her talking about my uncle's intern last summer, but neither of us did anything about it...not until this summer. I had the "good fortune" to get the opinions of my grandparents on him too, who have met "Bill" while down in NM.
Over the next few days I learned very little about him, except that he and I should really start writing each other, and what a nice guy he is. Unfortunately, they did not have pictures of the guy, despite my uncle being an amateur photographer, who takes pictures of EVERYTHING. I learned "Bill" has some facial hair, likes to cook, and is very nice. He also has recently received his Ph. D in Hydrology, which my uncle referred to as a Ph. D in Stupidty. I wasn't sure if he was referring to the usefulness of the degree or to his intern.
One evening while my family and I were sitting out by the bonfire, my aunt brought him up, in which my grandma and grandpa reassured me that the guy was a "very nice man". I then asked the question one should never ask in the presence of ones' grandparents or at least not mine, "Is he cute?" Do not ask that! All I heard for the next few minutes was how you shouldn't base your interest in person on looks, and that you should focus on their inner beauty.
I thought that would have been the wrong moment to point out to my grandma that she has unashamably bragged about grandpa's looks in the past. Obviously looks played a part for her too;-)
At the end of my vacation my aunt sat me down with a piece of paper and a pencil and had me write down my email address and phone number. She claimed he'd been asking about me and that unlike me, he'd actually seen pictures of me taken from the previous summer. She also gave me "Bill's" email address.
It's been over three weeks since then, and they've definitely had time to give him my email address. Hmmm....I wonder if he put my address where I put his. On the refrigerator, so just in case I get an email from someone I don't know, I can check it against his.
Over the next few days I learned very little about him, except that he and I should really start writing each other, and what a nice guy he is. Unfortunately, they did not have pictures of the guy, despite my uncle being an amateur photographer, who takes pictures of EVERYTHING. I learned "Bill" has some facial hair, likes to cook, and is very nice. He also has recently received his Ph. D in Hydrology, which my uncle referred to as a Ph. D in Stupidty. I wasn't sure if he was referring to the usefulness of the degree or to his intern.
One evening while my family and I were sitting out by the bonfire, my aunt brought him up, in which my grandma and grandpa reassured me that the guy was a "very nice man". I then asked the question one should never ask in the presence of ones' grandparents or at least not mine, "Is he cute?" Do not ask that! All I heard for the next few minutes was how you shouldn't base your interest in person on looks, and that you should focus on their inner beauty.
I thought that would have been the wrong moment to point out to my grandma that she has unashamably bragged about grandpa's looks in the past. Obviously looks played a part for her too;-)
At the end of my vacation my aunt sat me down with a piece of paper and a pencil and had me write down my email address and phone number. She claimed he'd been asking about me and that unlike me, he'd actually seen pictures of me taken from the previous summer. She also gave me "Bill's" email address.
It's been over three weeks since then, and they've definitely had time to give him my email address. Hmmm....I wonder if he put my address where I put his. On the refrigerator, so just in case I get an email from someone I don't know, I can check it against his.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Happy Endings Are For Stories That Haven't Finished Yet
Who I thought was my knight in shining armor, turned out to be just another guy who doesn't know what he wants. Who I thought was a great guy and possible soul mate, turned out to be a guy who still isn't ready for a serious relationship. And who I thought could be a best friend, who I could hang out with, turned out to be someone who will always be more of a stranger.
If I were to give this guy a new title, changing it from The Gentleman, I would change it to "It's Not You, It's Me" guy. As it turned out he was too busy to have a girlfriend, a reality that I had to point out to him myself. Aside from the first two dates, I was the initiator of the next two times we saw each other, with him never mentioning when he wanted to see me or when he would see me next. Wait, hold that thought. He did promise to invite me over on a Sunday afternoon and when we went out last Thursday, asked to see me on Saturday, then completely forgot we even had the conversations.
The reason he never asked me out was because he spends a lot of time with his friends and mom and sporting events. So I've come realize something...if a guy would rather hang out with his friends than a woman, then he's not that interested. If a guy spends a lot of time with his mom, she'll probably hate me for taking him away from her. And if a guy is a sports fanatic, unless I become one too I'll never see him anyway.
Adding onto the male bonding, oedipus complex and sports fixation he also has decent number of gay tendencies. Each one alone means nothing, but them all added together could look suspicious to a blind man. He likes to clothes shop so he dresses well. He not only likes to decorate, but is good at it. He likes to dance. He keeps his living space neat and tidy and likes to keep things organized. He has a gay best friend who he has frequented gay bars with and participiated in few drag shows, in which he was runner up both times.
So as you can see, in this case the cliche of "it's not you, it's me" really does apply. Although I am hurt that it didn't work out, and believe beyond a reasonable doubt that if he wasn't so busy, it wouldn't have worked out anyway. I now know that I'll never go back, because I never go back. It's a rule I made for myself years ago, and I've never broken it.
We have now agreed to be friends, but that is all up to him.
If I were to give this guy a new title, changing it from The Gentleman, I would change it to "It's Not You, It's Me" guy. As it turned out he was too busy to have a girlfriend, a reality that I had to point out to him myself. Aside from the first two dates, I was the initiator of the next two times we saw each other, with him never mentioning when he wanted to see me or when he would see me next. Wait, hold that thought. He did promise to invite me over on a Sunday afternoon and when we went out last Thursday, asked to see me on Saturday, then completely forgot we even had the conversations.
The reason he never asked me out was because he spends a lot of time with his friends and mom and sporting events. So I've come realize something...if a guy would rather hang out with his friends than a woman, then he's not that interested. If a guy spends a lot of time with his mom, she'll probably hate me for taking him away from her. And if a guy is a sports fanatic, unless I become one too I'll never see him anyway.
Adding onto the male bonding, oedipus complex and sports fixation he also has decent number of gay tendencies. Each one alone means nothing, but them all added together could look suspicious to a blind man. He likes to clothes shop so he dresses well. He not only likes to decorate, but is good at it. He likes to dance. He keeps his living space neat and tidy and likes to keep things organized. He has a gay best friend who he has frequented gay bars with and participiated in few drag shows, in which he was runner up both times.
So as you can see, in this case the cliche of "it's not you, it's me" really does apply. Although I am hurt that it didn't work out, and believe beyond a reasonable doubt that if he wasn't so busy, it wouldn't have worked out anyway. I now know that I'll never go back, because I never go back. It's a rule I made for myself years ago, and I've never broken it.
We have now agreed to be friends, but that is all up to him.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The True Gentleman
This is not a story of a dating disaster. This is a story of how quite possibly there is a point to all the disappointment, suffering, heart-ache and lonely nights I have endured this year. Perhaps the reason why I had to "kiss" so many "frogs" was so that I would truly appreciate and know when someone worthy of my attention and affection, came along. I believe I may have found such a person.
This story began two weeks ago. I decided to sign in to a popular online dating site, which I had neglected for the past two months. I had found myself reading enormous amounts of romance novels, wishing I could find someone who would have that much passion for me like the men in the novels had for their women. On Sunday night, May 30th I began searching through profiles of local men. I found two that sparked my interest and sent "winks" to both them. Within the evening I had received "winks" back from both, showing interest. I then emailed both of them. I heard back from Jay first, with a short message telling me to add him on IM. I did the next day, or thought I had, but a few days later I had a request to be added from him. We talked in the afternoon on Friday over IM, and when I was about to leave work, was surprised when he asked to meet me that evening for a drink. I agreed and we quickly arranged when and where to meet.
I didn't have high hopes going into the date. Obviously I hadn't had great luck so far this year so what was going to make this night any different? The odds were stacked against me, also his picture wasn't as impressive as the other guy's and so far all I'd talked to him about was his job...and remembering a comment he'd made that made me think he was a little cocky by saying perhaps he was the one I'd been looking for. Maybe someone else would have found it romantic but my cyncism got the best of me and the only thing I could think of was, "Probably not", although I didn't say it.
Since I hadn't been on a date since the snow had melted I decided to wear a dress. It was a black cotton v-neck dress, that I knew I'd not only impress with, but I would also feel completely comfortable in, even if the date turned out to be a dud. And unlike all my previous dates this year where I showed up about 10 min early, wearing a sweater and jeans, I decided to let the guy wait for me this time, after all waiting to see Mr Right walk into the room hadn't worked so far, may as well change it up.
I walked into the restaurant and was directed towards the bar area, where we had agreed to meet. I looked around the bar in a swift glance and saw mostly couples...except for one lonely guy in the button down white shirt and jeans, at the end of the bar, who looked like he could resemble my date. I took a deep breath and started walking towards him, hoping he'd look better than his picture, but preparing for him to look worse, as most of them do.
He turned towards me as I walked in his direction, and he questionably called my name. As I walked closer I was delighted to find he looked better than his picture. He got off his stool and came over to greet me, and then led me out to the patio to sit (I knew people were supposed to wait to be seated at any other place than the bar, but after a brief question of whether we should be seating ourselves, I decided to go with it).
From the first moment we sat down we hit it off. My other dates that I thought had gone well, but turned out to be one-sided, were not half as good as this date turned out to be. Conversation flowed and before we knew it we'd been there a few hours. We'd ordered a shrimp appetizer after realizing we both loved seafood and talked about a wide variety of topics. When it became chilly we decided to go hang out as his new house, and kept things platonic while we watched a DVD of stand-up comedian Dane Cook and sang the theme song to "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" together.
He acted like a gentleman, opening doors for me and actually sounding interestd in what I had to say. He was funny, yet kind...and when I went over to hang out with him the next night to watch a movie...he continued to show what a great person he was. I found that unlike the other guys who maybe had a house, great job, a dog, lots of friends...etc, they didn't have what I really liked about this guy, whichw as character. He displayed the characteristics he reported to have on his profile such as romantic, trustworthy, dependable, loyal, honest...all things the others desperately lacked.
So, although I have only had two dates with him, talked with him over IM sparingly throughout the week and then saw for a little bit on Friday, I feel like I've known him longer, and that if he continues to do what he says he'll do and expresses himself as he's done...this could turn out to be something wonderful.
This story began two weeks ago. I decided to sign in to a popular online dating site, which I had neglected for the past two months. I had found myself reading enormous amounts of romance novels, wishing I could find someone who would have that much passion for me like the men in the novels had for their women. On Sunday night, May 30th I began searching through profiles of local men. I found two that sparked my interest and sent "winks" to both them. Within the evening I had received "winks" back from both, showing interest. I then emailed both of them. I heard back from Jay first, with a short message telling me to add him on IM. I did the next day, or thought I had, but a few days later I had a request to be added from him. We talked in the afternoon on Friday over IM, and when I was about to leave work, was surprised when he asked to meet me that evening for a drink. I agreed and we quickly arranged when and where to meet.
I didn't have high hopes going into the date. Obviously I hadn't had great luck so far this year so what was going to make this night any different? The odds were stacked against me, also his picture wasn't as impressive as the other guy's and so far all I'd talked to him about was his job...and remembering a comment he'd made that made me think he was a little cocky by saying perhaps he was the one I'd been looking for. Maybe someone else would have found it romantic but my cyncism got the best of me and the only thing I could think of was, "Probably not", although I didn't say it.
Since I hadn't been on a date since the snow had melted I decided to wear a dress. It was a black cotton v-neck dress, that I knew I'd not only impress with, but I would also feel completely comfortable in, even if the date turned out to be a dud. And unlike all my previous dates this year where I showed up about 10 min early, wearing a sweater and jeans, I decided to let the guy wait for me this time, after all waiting to see Mr Right walk into the room hadn't worked so far, may as well change it up.
I walked into the restaurant and was directed towards the bar area, where we had agreed to meet. I looked around the bar in a swift glance and saw mostly couples...except for one lonely guy in the button down white shirt and jeans, at the end of the bar, who looked like he could resemble my date. I took a deep breath and started walking towards him, hoping he'd look better than his picture, but preparing for him to look worse, as most of them do.
He turned towards me as I walked in his direction, and he questionably called my name. As I walked closer I was delighted to find he looked better than his picture. He got off his stool and came over to greet me, and then led me out to the patio to sit (I knew people were supposed to wait to be seated at any other place than the bar, but after a brief question of whether we should be seating ourselves, I decided to go with it).
From the first moment we sat down we hit it off. My other dates that I thought had gone well, but turned out to be one-sided, were not half as good as this date turned out to be. Conversation flowed and before we knew it we'd been there a few hours. We'd ordered a shrimp appetizer after realizing we both loved seafood and talked about a wide variety of topics. When it became chilly we decided to go hang out as his new house, and kept things platonic while we watched a DVD of stand-up comedian Dane Cook and sang the theme song to "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" together.
He acted like a gentleman, opening doors for me and actually sounding interestd in what I had to say. He was funny, yet kind...and when I went over to hang out with him the next night to watch a movie...he continued to show what a great person he was. I found that unlike the other guys who maybe had a house, great job, a dog, lots of friends...etc, they didn't have what I really liked about this guy, whichw as character. He displayed the characteristics he reported to have on his profile such as romantic, trustworthy, dependable, loyal, honest...all things the others desperately lacked.
So, although I have only had two dates with him, talked with him over IM sparingly throughout the week and then saw for a little bit on Friday, I feel like I've known him longer, and that if he continues to do what he says he'll do and expresses himself as he's done...this could turn out to be something wonderful.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Ego-Maniac Guy
Granted, ego-maniac could potentially describe just about any guy, but this one is in a class by himself. I met the guy on an online dating site. He looked cute, but had almost nothing on his profile, however the little he did include, I thought might show compatibility.
I started by sending him an email to the account he listed on the website. We emailed back and forth a little and then started IMing. I talked with him mostly at work, because I don't sit online once I get home.
Within the first conversation or two I realized I had no desire to meet the guy. First of all he didn't show any interest in me. He started by asking what I wanted to know about him, as if he was some wonderful mystery I was dying to learn about.
I started by asking him questions, thinking he'd then turn around and either ask me the same ones or at least ask different questions....but no. After talking for only 5 minutes on IM, he asked what I thought about him. I told him I really didn't know much yet. We talked a little more and then he went offline.
I thought our conversations might develop as he perhaps developed interest in me, and wanting to know about me. I may have a complete profile filled out, but it's not everything about me. I do have depth, which I quickly learned he had no interest in learning.
I felt like I had to fight with him to ask me anything. At one point I believe I wrote in all caps, demanding that he ask me anything. I couldn't believe the guy was so inept at basic socializing skills. Hadn't he ever had a relationship before? Did only talking about himself work in the past?
I would never find out those answers, because the only question he wanted to know was what I thought about him. It reminded me of the phrase "Enough talk about me; What do you think of me?" This guy should be on the poster for it. He even point blank asked me when I was going to get around to asking him out! I couldn't believe it! Was he joking? If he was, I thought one rude joke deserved another, so I asked "Would you like me to bring flowers and candy when I pick you up?". He replied, "No candy. It doesn't fit in my diet." Okay, now who was joking? Did he realize I was making fun of him or was he now making fun of me?
I told him I didn't think I knew him well enough yet, and then we started arguing over the fact that he really hadn't shown any interest in me. He defended himself by saying he was better in person. I doubt that. If you can't come up with few basic questions over a 30 min period of time over the internet, how are you going to come up with anything better in person? Conversation usually moves along quicker in person, buddy. I'm not sure you could handle it.
By the next week he'd stopped writing me and I eventually took him off my contact list and blocked him. Maybe there's a perfect mirror out there he could buy, and then he wouldn't have to hassle with conversation. Good luck, Pickupman (That better be what kind of vehicle you own and not a reference to your womanizing skills)!
I started by sending him an email to the account he listed on the website. We emailed back and forth a little and then started IMing. I talked with him mostly at work, because I don't sit online once I get home.
Within the first conversation or two I realized I had no desire to meet the guy. First of all he didn't show any interest in me. He started by asking what I wanted to know about him, as if he was some wonderful mystery I was dying to learn about.
I started by asking him questions, thinking he'd then turn around and either ask me the same ones or at least ask different questions....but no. After talking for only 5 minutes on IM, he asked what I thought about him. I told him I really didn't know much yet. We talked a little more and then he went offline.
I thought our conversations might develop as he perhaps developed interest in me, and wanting to know about me. I may have a complete profile filled out, but it's not everything about me. I do have depth, which I quickly learned he had no interest in learning.
I felt like I had to fight with him to ask me anything. At one point I believe I wrote in all caps, demanding that he ask me anything. I couldn't believe the guy was so inept at basic socializing skills. Hadn't he ever had a relationship before? Did only talking about himself work in the past?
I would never find out those answers, because the only question he wanted to know was what I thought about him. It reminded me of the phrase "Enough talk about me; What do you think of me?" This guy should be on the poster for it. He even point blank asked me when I was going to get around to asking him out! I couldn't believe it! Was he joking? If he was, I thought one rude joke deserved another, so I asked "Would you like me to bring flowers and candy when I pick you up?". He replied, "No candy. It doesn't fit in my diet." Okay, now who was joking? Did he realize I was making fun of him or was he now making fun of me?
I told him I didn't think I knew him well enough yet, and then we started arguing over the fact that he really hadn't shown any interest in me. He defended himself by saying he was better in person. I doubt that. If you can't come up with few basic questions over a 30 min period of time over the internet, how are you going to come up with anything better in person? Conversation usually moves along quicker in person, buddy. I'm not sure you could handle it.
By the next week he'd stopped writing me and I eventually took him off my contact list and blocked him. Maybe there's a perfect mirror out there he could buy, and then he wouldn't have to hassle with conversation. Good luck, Pickupman (That better be what kind of vehicle you own and not a reference to your womanizing skills)!
Matchmaker Mom
Out of all the family and friends who have ventured to give me relationship advice, or who have tried to match me up, my parents have the worst ideas. They, like so many others, are well-intentioned and it might even start out sounding like a good idea, but as I've found it probably isn't.
Recently my mom attempted to set me up with one of my dad's employees. I have never met the guy, but from time to time my mom will talk about him, so I have some idea of what the guy looks like and where he's from. This particular evening, when we were having supper she became more insistent that I really did need to find some excuse to go to my dad's office to meet not only my "match" but Justin, who also is incredibly attractive, I'm told.
My mom begins to give more details about "Jon". Jon is an intern with my dad. He's from Holland and plans on returning when he's done with his internship in a few months. According to mom, he has the cutest Dutch accent. He's tall, is in good shape because he works out with Justin, very nice, dresses well and is just incredibly cute.
Okay, I'm seeing a few things here. First of all, he's my dad's employee! Is no one else noticing the potential disaster here? Second, he's moving to another continent soon. Who doesn't love a long, long distance relationship? Third, in order to meet him I'd practically have to stalk the guy. And fourth, although not a big deal, he's like five years younger than me...where in this is mom thinking "great idea"!?
My mom continues to insist that she or I will have to come up with a plan to get me over there. Then she goes on to tell me that Jon's only friend in town is Justin, and when Justin's out of town he has no one to keep him company...he has a fully furnished apartment and wouldn't it be nice if he had "someone" to go out with or stay in and watch movies with?
It now dawns on me that my mom isn't so much looking for my soulmate, she's just looking for me to hook up with someone!? My mother is trying to pimp me out to my dad's intern? Am I the only one that sees the wrong in this? I am not the "hooking up" type of girl, although this guy is evidently so hot that lowering my morals and my priorities just this once would be worth it...? And here I thought parents were supposed to look out for their children.
Side Note: Last summer both of my parents tried setting me up with Justin until they found out he was actually in a relationship. Oops! I guess employees don't always share their personal lives with their bosses and their spouses. Who knew?:-P
The conversation went on for a few minutes, and then finished with my mom and I brainstorming ideas on how I can meet Jon without it looking obvious, although I'd doubt that me showing up at my dad's office would cause everyone to think, "She's here to meet men." My guess is most people wouldn't care.
Recently my mom attempted to set me up with one of my dad's employees. I have never met the guy, but from time to time my mom will talk about him, so I have some idea of what the guy looks like and where he's from. This particular evening, when we were having supper she became more insistent that I really did need to find some excuse to go to my dad's office to meet not only my "match" but Justin, who also is incredibly attractive, I'm told.
My mom begins to give more details about "Jon". Jon is an intern with my dad. He's from Holland and plans on returning when he's done with his internship in a few months. According to mom, he has the cutest Dutch accent. He's tall, is in good shape because he works out with Justin, very nice, dresses well and is just incredibly cute.
Okay, I'm seeing a few things here. First of all, he's my dad's employee! Is no one else noticing the potential disaster here? Second, he's moving to another continent soon. Who doesn't love a long, long distance relationship? Third, in order to meet him I'd practically have to stalk the guy. And fourth, although not a big deal, he's like five years younger than me...where in this is mom thinking "great idea"!?
My mom continues to insist that she or I will have to come up with a plan to get me over there. Then she goes on to tell me that Jon's only friend in town is Justin, and when Justin's out of town he has no one to keep him company...he has a fully furnished apartment and wouldn't it be nice if he had "someone" to go out with or stay in and watch movies with?
It now dawns on me that my mom isn't so much looking for my soulmate, she's just looking for me to hook up with someone!? My mother is trying to pimp me out to my dad's intern? Am I the only one that sees the wrong in this? I am not the "hooking up" type of girl, although this guy is evidently so hot that lowering my morals and my priorities just this once would be worth it...? And here I thought parents were supposed to look out for their children.
Side Note: Last summer both of my parents tried setting me up with Justin until they found out he was actually in a relationship. Oops! I guess employees don't always share their personal lives with their bosses and their spouses. Who knew?:-P
The conversation went on for a few minutes, and then finished with my mom and I brainstorming ideas on how I can meet Jon without it looking obvious, although I'd doubt that me showing up at my dad's office would cause everyone to think, "She's here to meet men." My guess is most people wouldn't care.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Top 20 Signs You Should Run!
20. He's texted you or called you 4 times today, and you haven't said anything back to him
19. He keeps asking you if you cook
18. He talks about the benefits of smoking pot
17. He states that going to dinner and a movie with other women isn't dating
16. He doesn't have any friends and only hangs out with you
15. Insists the woman he lives with is "just a friend"
14. He states that he never uses condoms, because "it's" not as enjoyable for him that way
13. He has never attended college, because he is "interested in too many things"
12. He tells you you're not covered up enough and you're wearing a V-neck t-shirt and jeans
11. If one of your favorite colors is pink, yet he still has more of the color in his closet than you do
10. He insists four beers doesn't affect his driving at all
9. He has a child from a woman he dated for only 2 months
8. He has a DUI, but drives around anyway
7. He insists you drive so he doesn't have to waste gas
6. His favorite book, and book he lives by is "The Virtue of Selfishness" by Ayn Rand
5. He considers a date as being you hanging out with him and his buddies playing "Risk" on Friday night
4. You twist your ankle, falling onto the icy parking lot and he turns and laughs at you
3. He finds going home to see his parents twice a year to be a huge bore
2. He gets really offended when you suggest he search for a job
1. He tells you he's an unregistered child sex offender (but swears he didn't know how young she was)
And yes, I have experienced all of these myself, but not all this year.
19. He keeps asking you if you cook
18. He talks about the benefits of smoking pot
17. He states that going to dinner and a movie with other women isn't dating
16. He doesn't have any friends and only hangs out with you
15. Insists the woman he lives with is "just a friend"
14. He states that he never uses condoms, because "it's" not as enjoyable for him that way
13. He has never attended college, because he is "interested in too many things"
12. He tells you you're not covered up enough and you're wearing a V-neck t-shirt and jeans
11. If one of your favorite colors is pink, yet he still has more of the color in his closet than you do
10. He insists four beers doesn't affect his driving at all
9. He has a child from a woman he dated for only 2 months
8. He has a DUI, but drives around anyway
7. He insists you drive so he doesn't have to waste gas
6. His favorite book, and book he lives by is "The Virtue of Selfishness" by Ayn Rand
5. He considers a date as being you hanging out with him and his buddies playing "Risk" on Friday night
4. You twist your ankle, falling onto the icy parking lot and he turns and laughs at you
3. He finds going home to see his parents twice a year to be a huge bore
2. He gets really offended when you suggest he search for a job
1. He tells you he's an unregistered child sex offender (but swears he didn't know how young she was)
And yes, I have experienced all of these myself, but not all this year.
Bad Mouth Guy
I met Bad Mouth guy on an online dating site. He looked pretty cute. His profile was impressive and he seemed like a nice guy. We started emailing each other early in January. After almost a month he still hadn't asked me out, so I took the reigns and asked about meeting each other. It was then that he said he was in Texas, which is where he'd been deployed to, since he works with the Air Guard. He said he'd be there til the end of the month. That was fine, so we continued to email each other back and forth on a daily basis until he came back.
I told my friends about him and he seemed great. He emailed me every day and seemed pretty upbeat and positive about life, but then why wouldn't he be? He was golfing every day in warmth and sun. I was buried knee deep in snow with temps below zero most of the time. What I found a little disappointing was the depth of conversation and the range of topics we discussed. He didn't seem capable of talking about anything very important or significant. I realize it's difficult to keep a conversation going back and forth with a person you've never met, but I thought if we had anything in common we'd have something to talk about. I began to get the feeling we didn't. He only talked about outdoor sports and working on cars. Outdoors, sports, and cars don't even enter my vocabulary on daily basis much less all in the same sentence. I'm definitely more of an indoor, especially 8 months of the year when it's so cold.
By the time he came back to town,I had learned he no longer lived in town like his profile said, but instead lived 40 miles out of town. I'm not a country girl. Nonetheless, the Saturday before I call him to plan out the date for the next day. We were on the phone for about 3 min, in which I learned he would come and pick me up some time between 6-7pm, where we would go somewhere to eat, never mind that he still didn't have my address. Great. The next day he called at 6:30 where I decided to meet him at the restaurant instead of having him pick me up. I gave him three choices to choose from, in which he chose one and then asked about one that just happened to be the last restaurant on earth I'd want to go to. I told him I'd been to that restaurant too many times, so he agreed to the Olive Garden, where I hadn't been a long time.
It was when he showed up at the restaurant that I understood why he didn't smile in any of his pictures on myspace or facebook. He had incredibly crooked teeth and an offset jaw. Otherwise he was pretty attractive though. We had dinner and he asked me to go to a movie with him afterward, in which he decided to drive. I go to get in his car and find it absolutely filthy inside and out. As we're driving out of the parking lot he asks if I'd be terribly offended if he smoked. I told him that no I'd wouldn't be terribly offended. I do have relatives who smoke. I wasn't really sure how I would broach the subject that it certainly didn't impress me, and there was no way we'd ever kiss if he smoked this much. He explained that he smokes mostly when he's in the car or out with friends, but not all the time. Great, so if you're not in a public place you're smoking. That's healthy.
We had a second date a week and a half later in which I knew beyond a doubt we didn't belong together. I asked him why he moved so far out of town. I have always lived in a moderate sized town and when I go on vacation, enjoy visiting larger cities and enjoying the opportunities of shopping, restaurants and culture they offer that smaller areas don't. His response surprised me not only because of what he said but how he said it. He stated that he moved out of town because he "hated" living in town and couldn't stand it. He said it in such a tone that I felt like he was attacking me. I told him that I couldn't stand living in the country. There's nothing to do. This is when he pointed out that he could go snow mobiling, four wheeling or fishing whenver he wanted. I asked about just wanting to get out of the house and go somewhere. He said there was the grocery store and a restaurant nearby. Yikes! I was referring more to actual shopping and entertainment. I don't think I could deal with having the grocery store be where I "got out" to.
He came over to my apt after we left the restaurant, where we played some Wii Fit that he didn't seem to like very much. He was very unwilling to try anything other than the balance games. He then made a hasty getaway. I knew he worked the midnight shift, which doesn't start til at least 11 pm so I don't know, what he needed to leave at 9 for, but I wasn't about to get in his way. He toldme he'd talk to me on IM the next day, which he did for about 2 seconds, and then logged off. I haven't talked to him now for a week.
I told my friends about him and he seemed great. He emailed me every day and seemed pretty upbeat and positive about life, but then why wouldn't he be? He was golfing every day in warmth and sun. I was buried knee deep in snow with temps below zero most of the time. What I found a little disappointing was the depth of conversation and the range of topics we discussed. He didn't seem capable of talking about anything very important or significant. I realize it's difficult to keep a conversation going back and forth with a person you've never met, but I thought if we had anything in common we'd have something to talk about. I began to get the feeling we didn't. He only talked about outdoor sports and working on cars. Outdoors, sports, and cars don't even enter my vocabulary on daily basis much less all in the same sentence. I'm definitely more of an indoor, especially 8 months of the year when it's so cold.
By the time he came back to town,I had learned he no longer lived in town like his profile said, but instead lived 40 miles out of town. I'm not a country girl. Nonetheless, the Saturday before I call him to plan out the date for the next day. We were on the phone for about 3 min, in which I learned he would come and pick me up some time between 6-7pm, where we would go somewhere to eat, never mind that he still didn't have my address. Great. The next day he called at 6:30 where I decided to meet him at the restaurant instead of having him pick me up. I gave him three choices to choose from, in which he chose one and then asked about one that just happened to be the last restaurant on earth I'd want to go to. I told him I'd been to that restaurant too many times, so he agreed to the Olive Garden, where I hadn't been a long time.
It was when he showed up at the restaurant that I understood why he didn't smile in any of his pictures on myspace or facebook. He had incredibly crooked teeth and an offset jaw. Otherwise he was pretty attractive though. We had dinner and he asked me to go to a movie with him afterward, in which he decided to drive. I go to get in his car and find it absolutely filthy inside and out. As we're driving out of the parking lot he asks if I'd be terribly offended if he smoked. I told him that no I'd wouldn't be terribly offended. I do have relatives who smoke. I wasn't really sure how I would broach the subject that it certainly didn't impress me, and there was no way we'd ever kiss if he smoked this much. He explained that he smokes mostly when he's in the car or out with friends, but not all the time. Great, so if you're not in a public place you're smoking. That's healthy.
We had a second date a week and a half later in which I knew beyond a doubt we didn't belong together. I asked him why he moved so far out of town. I have always lived in a moderate sized town and when I go on vacation, enjoy visiting larger cities and enjoying the opportunities of shopping, restaurants and culture they offer that smaller areas don't. His response surprised me not only because of what he said but how he said it. He stated that he moved out of town because he "hated" living in town and couldn't stand it. He said it in such a tone that I felt like he was attacking me. I told him that I couldn't stand living in the country. There's nothing to do. This is when he pointed out that he could go snow mobiling, four wheeling or fishing whenver he wanted. I asked about just wanting to get out of the house and go somewhere. He said there was the grocery store and a restaurant nearby. Yikes! I was referring more to actual shopping and entertainment. I don't think I could deal with having the grocery store be where I "got out" to.
He came over to my apt after we left the restaurant, where we played some Wii Fit that he didn't seem to like very much. He was very unwilling to try anything other than the balance games. He then made a hasty getaway. I knew he worked the midnight shift, which doesn't start til at least 11 pm so I don't know, what he needed to leave at 9 for, but I wasn't about to get in his way. He toldme he'd talk to me on IM the next day, which he did for about 2 seconds, and then logged off. I haven't talked to him now for a week.
"Ganja" Guy
I do not have a specific date for this guy because it is an on-going story. We will call him Ganja because that is what he calls his pot that he smokes on a regular basis.
Ganja and I work in the same department at work. He joined the company this summer and I always thought he was cute, but was probably too young for me and not my type. Last month I had my first conversation with him, when I teased him about having his cell phone ringing while he was out of the room. I really didn't intend it to start anything, but he kept talking and talking. We began IMing during work and by the end of the next week he had invited me over to watch a movie with him. We ended up not watching the movie and just sat and talked, in which he showed his love for philosophical discussions that go nowhere. Nevertheless, I did have a good time and enjoyed his company.
The next night he invited me over so he could make dinner for us and we watched "Changeling" with Angelina Jolie. We also did some talking and reading over some name and personality books that I'd brought over. Throughout our conversations that evening I learned about his atheism, beliefs in astrology and other bizarre values, and then it was the next day that he shared a story about getting high. He was attempting to show how crazy a fellow coworker gets when he's high, but it only cemented in my mind, that this guy really was not for me. If he's hanging out with coworkers getting high and then letting them drive away, there's something really wrong.
We have continued to be friends since then, but I have been very upfront with him about the fact that we will never be a couple and that I'm not interested in him that way. We both realize that the most important thing is to maintain a working relationship and be able to get along at work.
It was this last week when we were hanging out at his cousin's house, that he shared his thoughts on "ganja" and the medical benefits it has. I couldn't believe my ears. Granted, some people with cancer have found it to be useful, but those are extreme cases. I, in no way, advocate using illegal drugs. He uses on a regular basis to take the edge off of a hard day at work or long week. He told me he considers it no more dangerous than having a beer or two. He says both help calm you down and it doesn't cause any other damage. He compared it to taking any other OTC or perscription drug to relieve discomfort. How stupid do you have to be to believe that load of crap? Here's a guy who evidently believes everything his drug dealer tells him, and never looks sideways to see what other information is out there to the contrary.
This is coming from a guy who is a father of a three year old, who he isn't allowed to see. What I should have asked him was at what age he thought he introduce his son to it, since it's so safe and all. I'm thinking whoever the mother is is probably a smart woman to protect her child from a guy who goes out drinking even though he knows he shouldn't. Smokes cigarettes even though they can kill you. Smokes pot even though it can ruin your life. And firmly believes in astrology, but doesn't believe in God because there's no proof.
So, I should have stuck with my initial thoughts on him and stayed away. He seemed like the partier kind of guy, who flirts with every woman and has no other hobbies or intellectual pursuits than sports and drinking.
Ganja and I work in the same department at work. He joined the company this summer and I always thought he was cute, but was probably too young for me and not my type. Last month I had my first conversation with him, when I teased him about having his cell phone ringing while he was out of the room. I really didn't intend it to start anything, but he kept talking and talking. We began IMing during work and by the end of the next week he had invited me over to watch a movie with him. We ended up not watching the movie and just sat and talked, in which he showed his love for philosophical discussions that go nowhere. Nevertheless, I did have a good time and enjoyed his company.
The next night he invited me over so he could make dinner for us and we watched "Changeling" with Angelina Jolie. We also did some talking and reading over some name and personality books that I'd brought over. Throughout our conversations that evening I learned about his atheism, beliefs in astrology and other bizarre values, and then it was the next day that he shared a story about getting high. He was attempting to show how crazy a fellow coworker gets when he's high, but it only cemented in my mind, that this guy really was not for me. If he's hanging out with coworkers getting high and then letting them drive away, there's something really wrong.
We have continued to be friends since then, but I have been very upfront with him about the fact that we will never be a couple and that I'm not interested in him that way. We both realize that the most important thing is to maintain a working relationship and be able to get along at work.
It was this last week when we were hanging out at his cousin's house, that he shared his thoughts on "ganja" and the medical benefits it has. I couldn't believe my ears. Granted, some people with cancer have found it to be useful, but those are extreme cases. I, in no way, advocate using illegal drugs. He uses on a regular basis to take the edge off of a hard day at work or long week. He told me he considers it no more dangerous than having a beer or two. He says both help calm you down and it doesn't cause any other damage. He compared it to taking any other OTC or perscription drug to relieve discomfort. How stupid do you have to be to believe that load of crap? Here's a guy who evidently believes everything his drug dealer tells him, and never looks sideways to see what other information is out there to the contrary.
This is coming from a guy who is a father of a three year old, who he isn't allowed to see. What I should have asked him was at what age he thought he introduce his son to it, since it's so safe and all. I'm thinking whoever the mother is is probably a smart woman to protect her child from a guy who goes out drinking even though he knows he shouldn't. Smokes cigarettes even though they can kill you. Smokes pot even though it can ruin your life. And firmly believes in astrology, but doesn't believe in God because there's no proof.
So, I should have stuck with my initial thoughts on him and stayed away. He seemed like the partier kind of guy, who flirts with every woman and has no other hobbies or intellectual pursuits than sports and drinking.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Church-stalker Guy
January 25, 2009
I thought church was a safe place to meet men, but it turns out, it's also where the creepy men hang out as well. I went to church on the 25th just like milions of people do every week, and everything seemed perfectly safe, until after the service was over and I decided to talk to a girlfriend for a few minutes before going home.
After I said goodbye to her, I walked up the aisle to leave the sanctuary. In the corner of my eye, I noticed a lonely looking guy staring at me. I tried not to pay any attention to him and kept walking. When I was about to walk passed him, he took a step forward and said, "Hi."
I stopped and introduced myself, and was about to walk away, when he attempted to start a conversation. Within a few minutes I learned he was a Hispanic, unemployed, college drop out. His name was Malachi and he'd been attending this church for 10 years. He also asked if I might be available to go out for coffee some time. I was hesitant to say anything, but said I was free in the evenings, while I looked at his tattoo on his neck, wondering what I was getting into, but thought, "We're at church. He must be decent guy. Give him a chance." He asked for my phone number and I couldn't think of a reason to tell him why I couldn't, so I gave it to him. I excused myself shortly after that, not giving him a time of when we might see each other again.
Two hours later, I'm at home and I get a text that says simply, "Hi." I don't reply. Later that afternoon he calls me and doesn't leave a message. I don't reply. At 10 pm he calls me again, this time sounding a little upset, he tells me who he is and that I should call him back and recites his phone number - twice. I don't reply.
The next morning around 9 am I'm at work, and I get text from him, "Hi." I realize this could take up my day so I respond back with "Hi." Almost immediately he writes back "Wat u up to." I am beginning to get a little frustrated so I tell him I'm working and I'm too busy to talk. He writes back and tells me to call him after work so we can possibly do something tonight. I got off work about 5:30, and a little after 6, he writes "Hi." I don't reply. About an hour later he calls and hangs up. Another hour passes and he calls again, this time when he hangs up, he texts me right away, asking me why I don't pick up.
At this point I realize this isn't going to end, and I certainly won't be going out with this guy -EVER. I wait awhile and text back that I'm very busy at work and with other obligations and really don't want a relationship right now. I think it's all over. I don't hear anything from him for hours...and then I get text from him, obviously very angry, in which he tells me to get lost! I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard.
I thought church was a safe place to meet men, but it turns out, it's also where the creepy men hang out as well. I went to church on the 25th just like milions of people do every week, and everything seemed perfectly safe, until after the service was over and I decided to talk to a girlfriend for a few minutes before going home.
After I said goodbye to her, I walked up the aisle to leave the sanctuary. In the corner of my eye, I noticed a lonely looking guy staring at me. I tried not to pay any attention to him and kept walking. When I was about to walk passed him, he took a step forward and said, "Hi."
I stopped and introduced myself, and was about to walk away, when he attempted to start a conversation. Within a few minutes I learned he was a Hispanic, unemployed, college drop out. His name was Malachi and he'd been attending this church for 10 years. He also asked if I might be available to go out for coffee some time. I was hesitant to say anything, but said I was free in the evenings, while I looked at his tattoo on his neck, wondering what I was getting into, but thought, "We're at church. He must be decent guy. Give him a chance." He asked for my phone number and I couldn't think of a reason to tell him why I couldn't, so I gave it to him. I excused myself shortly after that, not giving him a time of when we might see each other again.
Two hours later, I'm at home and I get a text that says simply, "Hi." I don't reply. Later that afternoon he calls me and doesn't leave a message. I don't reply. At 10 pm he calls me again, this time sounding a little upset, he tells me who he is and that I should call him back and recites his phone number - twice. I don't reply.
The next morning around 9 am I'm at work, and I get text from him, "Hi." I realize this could take up my day so I respond back with "Hi." Almost immediately he writes back "Wat u up to." I am beginning to get a little frustrated so I tell him I'm working and I'm too busy to talk. He writes back and tells me to call him after work so we can possibly do something tonight. I got off work about 5:30, and a little after 6, he writes "Hi." I don't reply. About an hour later he calls and hangs up. Another hour passes and he calls again, this time when he hangs up, he texts me right away, asking me why I don't pick up.
At this point I realize this isn't going to end, and I certainly won't be going out with this guy -EVER. I wait awhile and text back that I'm very busy at work and with other obligations and really don't want a relationship right now. I think it's all over. I don't hear anything from him for hours...and then I get text from him, obviously very angry, in which he tells me to get lost! I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard.
My-dog-is-dying Guy
February 2nd, 2009
That was the day I went on my second date of the year. Sondre, the Norwegian, was also a guy I met on an online dating site. We talked for a few weeks before he asked for my phone number and we talked about meeting. I had recovered from the high hopes I'd had for the previous guy and tried to stay calm about this new guy. This guy also seemed perfect though. He was also tall, light brown hair, blue eyes, average build. He had a masters degree, didn't do drugs, not an alcoholic, lived in a town home and had a dog. I love dogs, so that was a big plus. We decided to meet for drinks at a nearby bar. I showed up first and he showed up only a few minutes late. Before we really got the introductions over, he started in on his story about his dog being sick. Naturally I felt sorry for him and wanted to know more. He seemed genuinely concerned for his best friend. For half an hour he talked about it, showing me pictures on his Blackberry, before we finally moved onto other topics. He was very talkative and before long it had been two hours, and he insisted he should go home, because he was tired.
When the bill came he paid, which was nice for a change. He apologized for talking so much about his dog and I told him to let me know how the surgery goes. He'd made it sound like it was life and death kind of a thing, and after hearing about it all night, I felt attached to it. We hugged and he suggested we meet for a second [more positive] date early next week. I told him that if nothing else I would really like to at least get a text message about the dog to let me know if he's alive or not. He promised he would and that we would talk later.
I waited two days and had told everyone about the sad story of this one year old dog that may or may not make it. After two days I texted him, asking about the dog, thinking maybe he'd been so overwhelmed he hadn't gotten around to calling me yet. He never called.
That was the day I went on my second date of the year. Sondre, the Norwegian, was also a guy I met on an online dating site. We talked for a few weeks before he asked for my phone number and we talked about meeting. I had recovered from the high hopes I'd had for the previous guy and tried to stay calm about this new guy. This guy also seemed perfect though. He was also tall, light brown hair, blue eyes, average build. He had a masters degree, didn't do drugs, not an alcoholic, lived in a town home and had a dog. I love dogs, so that was a big plus. We decided to meet for drinks at a nearby bar. I showed up first and he showed up only a few minutes late. Before we really got the introductions over, he started in on his story about his dog being sick. Naturally I felt sorry for him and wanted to know more. He seemed genuinely concerned for his best friend. For half an hour he talked about it, showing me pictures on his Blackberry, before we finally moved onto other topics. He was very talkative and before long it had been two hours, and he insisted he should go home, because he was tired.
When the bill came he paid, which was nice for a change. He apologized for talking so much about his dog and I told him to let me know how the surgery goes. He'd made it sound like it was life and death kind of a thing, and after hearing about it all night, I felt attached to it. We hugged and he suggested we meet for a second [more positive] date early next week. I told him that if nothing else I would really like to at least get a text message about the dog to let me know if he's alive or not. He promised he would and that we would talk later.
I waited two days and had told everyone about the sad story of this one year old dog that may or may not make it. After two days I texted him, asking about the dog, thinking maybe he'd been so overwhelmed he hadn't gotten around to calling me yet. He never called.
Leaving-town Guy
January 5th, 2009
That was the day I went on my first date of the year. I was really excited to meet him. Trent and I met on an online dating site and had just started talking a few days before. He seemed perfect. He was tall, light brown hair, blue eyes, average build. He'd graduated from college, didn't do drugs, wasn't an alcoholic and had recently built a house in a new part of town. We met at a casual restaurant. Conversation was easy and he shared some of his meal with me. He asked me questions. I asked him questions. We laughed and I grew to like him more and more throughout dinner. He told me he would normally ask me out for a drink now, but he had an early morning flight.
He told me before we met that he would be out of town most of the week, but would fly back in on Friday. I understood that, so when he talked about having to leave right after dinner, and go back to the office and then home it totally made sense. However, since he was the one who insisted on getting together before he left town and knew I made significantly less money than he did, I thought he would pay. When the bill came he suggested we split it down the middle, not wanting to sound like a jerk, I didn't argue with him and paid half.
Before we parted ways, he apologized for being late and said we could talk when he got back on Friday. I don't remember him saying he'd call me or that I should call him, specifically. Which I now know is a blow off.
I waited for him to call on Friday, telling everyone how great of a date it was and how great he was. He didn't call on Friday. He hadn't called by Saturday afternoon either, so I called and left a short message, telling him that I looked forward to seeing him again and hoped to meet up with him again soon. He never called.
That was the day I went on my first date of the year. I was really excited to meet him. Trent and I met on an online dating site and had just started talking a few days before. He seemed perfect. He was tall, light brown hair, blue eyes, average build. He'd graduated from college, didn't do drugs, wasn't an alcoholic and had recently built a house in a new part of town. We met at a casual restaurant. Conversation was easy and he shared some of his meal with me. He asked me questions. I asked him questions. We laughed and I grew to like him more and more throughout dinner. He told me he would normally ask me out for a drink now, but he had an early morning flight.
He told me before we met that he would be out of town most of the week, but would fly back in on Friday. I understood that, so when he talked about having to leave right after dinner, and go back to the office and then home it totally made sense. However, since he was the one who insisted on getting together before he left town and knew I made significantly less money than he did, I thought he would pay. When the bill came he suggested we split it down the middle, not wanting to sound like a jerk, I didn't argue with him and paid half.
Before we parted ways, he apologized for being late and said we could talk when he got back on Friday. I don't remember him saying he'd call me or that I should call him, specifically. Which I now know is a blow off.
I waited for him to call on Friday, telling everyone how great of a date it was and how great he was. He didn't call on Friday. He hadn't called by Saturday afternoon either, so I called and left a short message, telling him that I looked forward to seeing him again and hoped to meet up with him again soon. He never called.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Introduction
It's only February 16 of 2009, but I have already had some pretty interesting dating experiences this year. It was my new year resolution to find a boyfriend, so I have signed up on some online dating sites, made an effort to meet more people at church and generally tried to have an open mind about people.
In the the first month and half, I had a wide variety of dating experiences. I will be sharing those for your entertainment and, if the past is any prediction of the future, I'm sure more stories will come.
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