Dennis's Matchmaking Service

Are you a foreigner coming to the U.S for an extended period of time in the near future, and would like a girlfriend? Look no further than Dennis's Matchmaking Service. He has a female coworker who is single and is right for just about anyone, after all aren't all single people the same?

Last week I was confronted with the idea of being matched up with a colleague I've never heard of, from India. My friend/coworker evidently was talking to this guy over IM, who thought he may be coming to the U.S soon for training. He was looking to get a girlfriend, and my name was given or something. I'm not completely sure. Dennis began talking to me about him and how nice he was, and how different he is compared to the other guys I've gone out with, hilighting a few major points as being jerks, stupid and being gay. Okay, so my very first boyfriend ever, turned out to be gay. I was six at the time, how was I to know?

Anyway, he kept talking about how nice this guy was and how quickly he'd learned English and could use slang and shorthand. He then sent me a picture of the guy, stating that a fellow female coworker of ours said he was cute. I'm sure he would be after I pulled out my machete and hacked down the uni-brow into a pair of brows instead. Dennis also reported the guy liked Chinese food. I can imagine our first date already...first stop salon, and end at a Chinese buffet down the street.

As it turns out, he will not be coming to the U.S. Only his boss will be coming, and no one mentioned him needing a date.

My Boss's Daughter

Noo, this isn't a review of the 2003 Ashton Kutchter and Tara Reid movie. In this little scenario I am the boss's daughter, and my parents are making a second round...(or third perhaps) of matching me up with one of my dad's assistants. This is the second with "Nick". They wanted me to meet him last summer too, but then they realized he actually had girlfriend. Oops! Evidently, he doesn't always keep his boss abreast of his dating life. Please respond to this if you do.

However, I learned at a recent family dinner, that "Nick" broke up with his girlfriend, and is now available. This guy just graduated from college last summer, and I graduated from college the firsdt time, before he'd graduated high school. However, he is a year older now, and in the rebound stage...perfect for jumping into a commited relationship with your boss's daughter ;-)

I still have never met the guy since opportunities for me to stop by my dad's office, on the other end of town, no where near even shopping, to say I'm in the neighborhood. Fortunately for me, an opportunity has presented itself. I am moving and will need help with my heavy and bulky furniture pieces. Not to worry everyone! "Nick" has been contacted on my behalf ,and will be present on the important day. I will no doubt, look worse that day than any other day of the year. That's how it works right? You meet the hot guy when you look your absolute worst? Oh and considering I am somewhat of a control freak, he'll be able to see that full force that day. I tend to be very organized and focused on moving days.

Matchmaker Mom

Out of all the family and friends who have ventured to give me relationship advice, or who have tried to match me up, my parents have the worst ideas. They, like so many others, are well-intentioned and it might even start out sounding like a good idea, but as I've found it probably isn't.
Recently my mom attempted to set me up with one of my dad's employees. I have never met the guy, but from time to time my mom will talk about him, so I have some idea of what the guy looks like and where he's from. This particular evening, when we were having supper she became more insistent that I really did need to find some excuse to go to my dad's office to meet not only my "match" but Justin, who also is incredibly attractive, I'm told.

My mom begins to give more details about "Jon". Jon is an intern with my dad. He's from Holland and plans on returning when he's done with his internship in a few months. According to mom, he has the cutest Dutch accent. He's tall, is in good shape because he works out with Justin, very nice, dresses well and is just incredibly cute.

Okay, I'm seeing a few things here. First of all, he's my dad's employee! Is no one else noticing the potential disaster here? Second, he's moving to another continent soon. Who doesn't love a long, long distance relationship? Third, in order to meet him I'd practically have to stalk the guy. And fourth, although not a big deal, he's like five years younger than me...where in this is mom thinking "great idea"!?

My mom continues to insist that she or I will have to come up with a plan to get me over there. Then she goes on to tell me that Jon's only friend in town is Justin, and when Justin's out of town he has no one to keep him company...he has a fully furnished apartment and wouldn't it be nice if he had "someone" to go out with or stay in and watch movies with?

It now dawns on me that my mom isn't so much looking for my soulmate, she's just looking for me to hook up with someone!? My mother is trying to pimp me out to my dad's intern? Am I the only one that sees the wrong in this? I am not the "hooking up" type of girl, although this guy is evidently so hot that lowering my morals and my priorities just this once would be worth it...? And here I thought parents were supposed to look out for their children.

Side Note: Last summer both of my parents tried setting me up with Justin until they found out he was actually in a relationship. Oops! I guess employees don't always share their personal lives with their bosses and their spouses. Who knew?:-P

The conversation went on for a few minutes, and then finished with my mom and I brainstorming ideas on how I can meet Jon without it looking obvious, although I'd doubt that me showing up at my dad's office would cause everyone to think, "She's here to meet men." My guess is most people wouldn't care.