20. He's texted you or called you 4 times today, and you haven't said anything back to him
19. He keeps asking you if you cook
18. He talks about the benefits of smoking pot
17. He states that going to dinner and a movie with other women isn't dating
16. He doesn't have any friends and only hangs out with you
15. Insists the woman he lives with is "just a friend"
14. He states that he never uses condoms, because "it's" not as enjoyable for him that way
13. He has never attended college, because he is "interested in too many things"
12. He tells you you're not covered up enough and you're wearing a V-neck t-shirt and jeans
11. If one of your favorite colors is pink, yet he still has more of the color in his closet than you do
10. He insists four beers doesn't affect his driving at all
9. He has a child from a woman he dated for only 2 months
8. He has a DUI, but drives around anyway
7. He insists you drive so he doesn't have to waste gas
6. His favorite book, and book he lives by is "The Virtue of Selfishness" by Ayn Rand
5. He considers a date as being you hanging out with him and his buddies playing "Risk" on Friday night
4. You twist your ankle, falling onto the icy parking lot and he turns and laughs at you
3. He finds going home to see his parents twice a year to be a huge bore
2. He gets really offended when you suggest he search for a job
1. He tells you he's an unregistered child sex offender (but swears he didn't know how young she was)
And yes, I have experienced all of these myself, but not all this year.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Bad Mouth Guy
I met Bad Mouth guy on an online dating site. He looked pretty cute. His profile was impressive and he seemed like a nice guy. We started emailing each other early in January. After almost a month he still hadn't asked me out, so I took the reigns and asked about meeting each other. It was then that he said he was in Texas, which is where he'd been deployed to, since he works with the Air Guard. He said he'd be there til the end of the month. That was fine, so we continued to email each other back and forth on a daily basis until he came back.
I told my friends about him and he seemed great. He emailed me every day and seemed pretty upbeat and positive about life, but then why wouldn't he be? He was golfing every day in warmth and sun. I was buried knee deep in snow with temps below zero most of the time. What I found a little disappointing was the depth of conversation and the range of topics we discussed. He didn't seem capable of talking about anything very important or significant. I realize it's difficult to keep a conversation going back and forth with a person you've never met, but I thought if we had anything in common we'd have something to talk about. I began to get the feeling we didn't. He only talked about outdoor sports and working on cars. Outdoors, sports, and cars don't even enter my vocabulary on daily basis much less all in the same sentence. I'm definitely more of an indoor, especially 8 months of the year when it's so cold.
By the time he came back to town,I had learned he no longer lived in town like his profile said, but instead lived 40 miles out of town. I'm not a country girl. Nonetheless, the Saturday before I call him to plan out the date for the next day. We were on the phone for about 3 min, in which I learned he would come and pick me up some time between 6-7pm, where we would go somewhere to eat, never mind that he still didn't have my address. Great. The next day he called at 6:30 where I decided to meet him at the restaurant instead of having him pick me up. I gave him three choices to choose from, in which he chose one and then asked about one that just happened to be the last restaurant on earth I'd want to go to. I told him I'd been to that restaurant too many times, so he agreed to the Olive Garden, where I hadn't been a long time.
It was when he showed up at the restaurant that I understood why he didn't smile in any of his pictures on myspace or facebook. He had incredibly crooked teeth and an offset jaw. Otherwise he was pretty attractive though. We had dinner and he asked me to go to a movie with him afterward, in which he decided to drive. I go to get in his car and find it absolutely filthy inside and out. As we're driving out of the parking lot he asks if I'd be terribly offended if he smoked. I told him that no I'd wouldn't be terribly offended. I do have relatives who smoke. I wasn't really sure how I would broach the subject that it certainly didn't impress me, and there was no way we'd ever kiss if he smoked this much. He explained that he smokes mostly when he's in the car or out with friends, but not all the time. Great, so if you're not in a public place you're smoking. That's healthy.
We had a second date a week and a half later in which I knew beyond a doubt we didn't belong together. I asked him why he moved so far out of town. I have always lived in a moderate sized town and when I go on vacation, enjoy visiting larger cities and enjoying the opportunities of shopping, restaurants and culture they offer that smaller areas don't. His response surprised me not only because of what he said but how he said it. He stated that he moved out of town because he "hated" living in town and couldn't stand it. He said it in such a tone that I felt like he was attacking me. I told him that I couldn't stand living in the country. There's nothing to do. This is when he pointed out that he could go snow mobiling, four wheeling or fishing whenver he wanted. I asked about just wanting to get out of the house and go somewhere. He said there was the grocery store and a restaurant nearby. Yikes! I was referring more to actual shopping and entertainment. I don't think I could deal with having the grocery store be where I "got out" to.
He came over to my apt after we left the restaurant, where we played some Wii Fit that he didn't seem to like very much. He was very unwilling to try anything other than the balance games. He then made a hasty getaway. I knew he worked the midnight shift, which doesn't start til at least 11 pm so I don't know, what he needed to leave at 9 for, but I wasn't about to get in his way. He toldme he'd talk to me on IM the next day, which he did for about 2 seconds, and then logged off. I haven't talked to him now for a week.
I told my friends about him and he seemed great. He emailed me every day and seemed pretty upbeat and positive about life, but then why wouldn't he be? He was golfing every day in warmth and sun. I was buried knee deep in snow with temps below zero most of the time. What I found a little disappointing was the depth of conversation and the range of topics we discussed. He didn't seem capable of talking about anything very important or significant. I realize it's difficult to keep a conversation going back and forth with a person you've never met, but I thought if we had anything in common we'd have something to talk about. I began to get the feeling we didn't. He only talked about outdoor sports and working on cars. Outdoors, sports, and cars don't even enter my vocabulary on daily basis much less all in the same sentence. I'm definitely more of an indoor, especially 8 months of the year when it's so cold.
By the time he came back to town,I had learned he no longer lived in town like his profile said, but instead lived 40 miles out of town. I'm not a country girl. Nonetheless, the Saturday before I call him to plan out the date for the next day. We were on the phone for about 3 min, in which I learned he would come and pick me up some time between 6-7pm, where we would go somewhere to eat, never mind that he still didn't have my address. Great. The next day he called at 6:30 where I decided to meet him at the restaurant instead of having him pick me up. I gave him three choices to choose from, in which he chose one and then asked about one that just happened to be the last restaurant on earth I'd want to go to. I told him I'd been to that restaurant too many times, so he agreed to the Olive Garden, where I hadn't been a long time.
It was when he showed up at the restaurant that I understood why he didn't smile in any of his pictures on myspace or facebook. He had incredibly crooked teeth and an offset jaw. Otherwise he was pretty attractive though. We had dinner and he asked me to go to a movie with him afterward, in which he decided to drive. I go to get in his car and find it absolutely filthy inside and out. As we're driving out of the parking lot he asks if I'd be terribly offended if he smoked. I told him that no I'd wouldn't be terribly offended. I do have relatives who smoke. I wasn't really sure how I would broach the subject that it certainly didn't impress me, and there was no way we'd ever kiss if he smoked this much. He explained that he smokes mostly when he's in the car or out with friends, but not all the time. Great, so if you're not in a public place you're smoking. That's healthy.
We had a second date a week and a half later in which I knew beyond a doubt we didn't belong together. I asked him why he moved so far out of town. I have always lived in a moderate sized town and when I go on vacation, enjoy visiting larger cities and enjoying the opportunities of shopping, restaurants and culture they offer that smaller areas don't. His response surprised me not only because of what he said but how he said it. He stated that he moved out of town because he "hated" living in town and couldn't stand it. He said it in such a tone that I felt like he was attacking me. I told him that I couldn't stand living in the country. There's nothing to do. This is when he pointed out that he could go snow mobiling, four wheeling or fishing whenver he wanted. I asked about just wanting to get out of the house and go somewhere. He said there was the grocery store and a restaurant nearby. Yikes! I was referring more to actual shopping and entertainment. I don't think I could deal with having the grocery store be where I "got out" to.
He came over to my apt after we left the restaurant, where we played some Wii Fit that he didn't seem to like very much. He was very unwilling to try anything other than the balance games. He then made a hasty getaway. I knew he worked the midnight shift, which doesn't start til at least 11 pm so I don't know, what he needed to leave at 9 for, but I wasn't about to get in his way. He toldme he'd talk to me on IM the next day, which he did for about 2 seconds, and then logged off. I haven't talked to him now for a week.
"Ganja" Guy
I do not have a specific date for this guy because it is an on-going story. We will call him Ganja because that is what he calls his pot that he smokes on a regular basis.
Ganja and I work in the same department at work. He joined the company this summer and I always thought he was cute, but was probably too young for me and not my type. Last month I had my first conversation with him, when I teased him about having his cell phone ringing while he was out of the room. I really didn't intend it to start anything, but he kept talking and talking. We began IMing during work and by the end of the next week he had invited me over to watch a movie with him. We ended up not watching the movie and just sat and talked, in which he showed his love for philosophical discussions that go nowhere. Nevertheless, I did have a good time and enjoyed his company.
The next night he invited me over so he could make dinner for us and we watched "Changeling" with Angelina Jolie. We also did some talking and reading over some name and personality books that I'd brought over. Throughout our conversations that evening I learned about his atheism, beliefs in astrology and other bizarre values, and then it was the next day that he shared a story about getting high. He was attempting to show how crazy a fellow coworker gets when he's high, but it only cemented in my mind, that this guy really was not for me. If he's hanging out with coworkers getting high and then letting them drive away, there's something really wrong.
We have continued to be friends since then, but I have been very upfront with him about the fact that we will never be a couple and that I'm not interested in him that way. We both realize that the most important thing is to maintain a working relationship and be able to get along at work.
It was this last week when we were hanging out at his cousin's house, that he shared his thoughts on "ganja" and the medical benefits it has. I couldn't believe my ears. Granted, some people with cancer have found it to be useful, but those are extreme cases. I, in no way, advocate using illegal drugs. He uses on a regular basis to take the edge off of a hard day at work or long week. He told me he considers it no more dangerous than having a beer or two. He says both help calm you down and it doesn't cause any other damage. He compared it to taking any other OTC or perscription drug to relieve discomfort. How stupid do you have to be to believe that load of crap? Here's a guy who evidently believes everything his drug dealer tells him, and never looks sideways to see what other information is out there to the contrary.
This is coming from a guy who is a father of a three year old, who he isn't allowed to see. What I should have asked him was at what age he thought he introduce his son to it, since it's so safe and all. I'm thinking whoever the mother is is probably a smart woman to protect her child from a guy who goes out drinking even though he knows he shouldn't. Smokes cigarettes even though they can kill you. Smokes pot even though it can ruin your life. And firmly believes in astrology, but doesn't believe in God because there's no proof.
So, I should have stuck with my initial thoughts on him and stayed away. He seemed like the partier kind of guy, who flirts with every woman and has no other hobbies or intellectual pursuits than sports and drinking.
Ganja and I work in the same department at work. He joined the company this summer and I always thought he was cute, but was probably too young for me and not my type. Last month I had my first conversation with him, when I teased him about having his cell phone ringing while he was out of the room. I really didn't intend it to start anything, but he kept talking and talking. We began IMing during work and by the end of the next week he had invited me over to watch a movie with him. We ended up not watching the movie and just sat and talked, in which he showed his love for philosophical discussions that go nowhere. Nevertheless, I did have a good time and enjoyed his company.
The next night he invited me over so he could make dinner for us and we watched "Changeling" with Angelina Jolie. We also did some talking and reading over some name and personality books that I'd brought over. Throughout our conversations that evening I learned about his atheism, beliefs in astrology and other bizarre values, and then it was the next day that he shared a story about getting high. He was attempting to show how crazy a fellow coworker gets when he's high, but it only cemented in my mind, that this guy really was not for me. If he's hanging out with coworkers getting high and then letting them drive away, there's something really wrong.
We have continued to be friends since then, but I have been very upfront with him about the fact that we will never be a couple and that I'm not interested in him that way. We both realize that the most important thing is to maintain a working relationship and be able to get along at work.
It was this last week when we were hanging out at his cousin's house, that he shared his thoughts on "ganja" and the medical benefits it has. I couldn't believe my ears. Granted, some people with cancer have found it to be useful, but those are extreme cases. I, in no way, advocate using illegal drugs. He uses on a regular basis to take the edge off of a hard day at work or long week. He told me he considers it no more dangerous than having a beer or two. He says both help calm you down and it doesn't cause any other damage. He compared it to taking any other OTC or perscription drug to relieve discomfort. How stupid do you have to be to believe that load of crap? Here's a guy who evidently believes everything his drug dealer tells him, and never looks sideways to see what other information is out there to the contrary.
This is coming from a guy who is a father of a three year old, who he isn't allowed to see. What I should have asked him was at what age he thought he introduce his son to it, since it's so safe and all. I'm thinking whoever the mother is is probably a smart woman to protect her child from a guy who goes out drinking even though he knows he shouldn't. Smokes cigarettes even though they can kill you. Smokes pot even though it can ruin your life. And firmly believes in astrology, but doesn't believe in God because there's no proof.
So, I should have stuck with my initial thoughts on him and stayed away. He seemed like the partier kind of guy, who flirts with every woman and has no other hobbies or intellectual pursuits than sports and drinking.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Church-stalker Guy
January 25, 2009
I thought church was a safe place to meet men, but it turns out, it's also where the creepy men hang out as well. I went to church on the 25th just like milions of people do every week, and everything seemed perfectly safe, until after the service was over and I decided to talk to a girlfriend for a few minutes before going home.
After I said goodbye to her, I walked up the aisle to leave the sanctuary. In the corner of my eye, I noticed a lonely looking guy staring at me. I tried not to pay any attention to him and kept walking. When I was about to walk passed him, he took a step forward and said, "Hi."
I stopped and introduced myself, and was about to walk away, when he attempted to start a conversation. Within a few minutes I learned he was a Hispanic, unemployed, college drop out. His name was Malachi and he'd been attending this church for 10 years. He also asked if I might be available to go out for coffee some time. I was hesitant to say anything, but said I was free in the evenings, while I looked at his tattoo on his neck, wondering what I was getting into, but thought, "We're at church. He must be decent guy. Give him a chance." He asked for my phone number and I couldn't think of a reason to tell him why I couldn't, so I gave it to him. I excused myself shortly after that, not giving him a time of when we might see each other again.
Two hours later, I'm at home and I get a text that says simply, "Hi." I don't reply. Later that afternoon he calls me and doesn't leave a message. I don't reply. At 10 pm he calls me again, this time sounding a little upset, he tells me who he is and that I should call him back and recites his phone number - twice. I don't reply.
The next morning around 9 am I'm at work, and I get text from him, "Hi." I realize this could take up my day so I respond back with "Hi." Almost immediately he writes back "Wat u up to." I am beginning to get a little frustrated so I tell him I'm working and I'm too busy to talk. He writes back and tells me to call him after work so we can possibly do something tonight. I got off work about 5:30, and a little after 6, he writes "Hi." I don't reply. About an hour later he calls and hangs up. Another hour passes and he calls again, this time when he hangs up, he texts me right away, asking me why I don't pick up.
At this point I realize this isn't going to end, and I certainly won't be going out with this guy -EVER. I wait awhile and text back that I'm very busy at work and with other obligations and really don't want a relationship right now. I think it's all over. I don't hear anything from him for hours...and then I get text from him, obviously very angry, in which he tells me to get lost! I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard.
I thought church was a safe place to meet men, but it turns out, it's also where the creepy men hang out as well. I went to church on the 25th just like milions of people do every week, and everything seemed perfectly safe, until after the service was over and I decided to talk to a girlfriend for a few minutes before going home.
After I said goodbye to her, I walked up the aisle to leave the sanctuary. In the corner of my eye, I noticed a lonely looking guy staring at me. I tried not to pay any attention to him and kept walking. When I was about to walk passed him, he took a step forward and said, "Hi."
I stopped and introduced myself, and was about to walk away, when he attempted to start a conversation. Within a few minutes I learned he was a Hispanic, unemployed, college drop out. His name was Malachi and he'd been attending this church for 10 years. He also asked if I might be available to go out for coffee some time. I was hesitant to say anything, but said I was free in the evenings, while I looked at his tattoo on his neck, wondering what I was getting into, but thought, "We're at church. He must be decent guy. Give him a chance." He asked for my phone number and I couldn't think of a reason to tell him why I couldn't, so I gave it to him. I excused myself shortly after that, not giving him a time of when we might see each other again.
Two hours later, I'm at home and I get a text that says simply, "Hi." I don't reply. Later that afternoon he calls me and doesn't leave a message. I don't reply. At 10 pm he calls me again, this time sounding a little upset, he tells me who he is and that I should call him back and recites his phone number - twice. I don't reply.
The next morning around 9 am I'm at work, and I get text from him, "Hi." I realize this could take up my day so I respond back with "Hi." Almost immediately he writes back "Wat u up to." I am beginning to get a little frustrated so I tell him I'm working and I'm too busy to talk. He writes back and tells me to call him after work so we can possibly do something tonight. I got off work about 5:30, and a little after 6, he writes "Hi." I don't reply. About an hour later he calls and hangs up. Another hour passes and he calls again, this time when he hangs up, he texts me right away, asking me why I don't pick up.
At this point I realize this isn't going to end, and I certainly won't be going out with this guy -EVER. I wait awhile and text back that I'm very busy at work and with other obligations and really don't want a relationship right now. I think it's all over. I don't hear anything from him for hours...and then I get text from him, obviously very angry, in which he tells me to get lost! I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard.
My-dog-is-dying Guy
February 2nd, 2009
That was the day I went on my second date of the year. Sondre, the Norwegian, was also a guy I met on an online dating site. We talked for a few weeks before he asked for my phone number and we talked about meeting. I had recovered from the high hopes I'd had for the previous guy and tried to stay calm about this new guy. This guy also seemed perfect though. He was also tall, light brown hair, blue eyes, average build. He had a masters degree, didn't do drugs, not an alcoholic, lived in a town home and had a dog. I love dogs, so that was a big plus. We decided to meet for drinks at a nearby bar. I showed up first and he showed up only a few minutes late. Before we really got the introductions over, he started in on his story about his dog being sick. Naturally I felt sorry for him and wanted to know more. He seemed genuinely concerned for his best friend. For half an hour he talked about it, showing me pictures on his Blackberry, before we finally moved onto other topics. He was very talkative and before long it had been two hours, and he insisted he should go home, because he was tired.
When the bill came he paid, which was nice for a change. He apologized for talking so much about his dog and I told him to let me know how the surgery goes. He'd made it sound like it was life and death kind of a thing, and after hearing about it all night, I felt attached to it. We hugged and he suggested we meet for a second [more positive] date early next week. I told him that if nothing else I would really like to at least get a text message about the dog to let me know if he's alive or not. He promised he would and that we would talk later.
I waited two days and had told everyone about the sad story of this one year old dog that may or may not make it. After two days I texted him, asking about the dog, thinking maybe he'd been so overwhelmed he hadn't gotten around to calling me yet. He never called.
That was the day I went on my second date of the year. Sondre, the Norwegian, was also a guy I met on an online dating site. We talked for a few weeks before he asked for my phone number and we talked about meeting. I had recovered from the high hopes I'd had for the previous guy and tried to stay calm about this new guy. This guy also seemed perfect though. He was also tall, light brown hair, blue eyes, average build. He had a masters degree, didn't do drugs, not an alcoholic, lived in a town home and had a dog. I love dogs, so that was a big plus. We decided to meet for drinks at a nearby bar. I showed up first and he showed up only a few minutes late. Before we really got the introductions over, he started in on his story about his dog being sick. Naturally I felt sorry for him and wanted to know more. He seemed genuinely concerned for his best friend. For half an hour he talked about it, showing me pictures on his Blackberry, before we finally moved onto other topics. He was very talkative and before long it had been two hours, and he insisted he should go home, because he was tired.
When the bill came he paid, which was nice for a change. He apologized for talking so much about his dog and I told him to let me know how the surgery goes. He'd made it sound like it was life and death kind of a thing, and after hearing about it all night, I felt attached to it. We hugged and he suggested we meet for a second [more positive] date early next week. I told him that if nothing else I would really like to at least get a text message about the dog to let me know if he's alive or not. He promised he would and that we would talk later.
I waited two days and had told everyone about the sad story of this one year old dog that may or may not make it. After two days I texted him, asking about the dog, thinking maybe he'd been so overwhelmed he hadn't gotten around to calling me yet. He never called.
Leaving-town Guy
January 5th, 2009
That was the day I went on my first date of the year. I was really excited to meet him. Trent and I met on an online dating site and had just started talking a few days before. He seemed perfect. He was tall, light brown hair, blue eyes, average build. He'd graduated from college, didn't do drugs, wasn't an alcoholic and had recently built a house in a new part of town. We met at a casual restaurant. Conversation was easy and he shared some of his meal with me. He asked me questions. I asked him questions. We laughed and I grew to like him more and more throughout dinner. He told me he would normally ask me out for a drink now, but he had an early morning flight.
He told me before we met that he would be out of town most of the week, but would fly back in on Friday. I understood that, so when he talked about having to leave right after dinner, and go back to the office and then home it totally made sense. However, since he was the one who insisted on getting together before he left town and knew I made significantly less money than he did, I thought he would pay. When the bill came he suggested we split it down the middle, not wanting to sound like a jerk, I didn't argue with him and paid half.
Before we parted ways, he apologized for being late and said we could talk when he got back on Friday. I don't remember him saying he'd call me or that I should call him, specifically. Which I now know is a blow off.
I waited for him to call on Friday, telling everyone how great of a date it was and how great he was. He didn't call on Friday. He hadn't called by Saturday afternoon either, so I called and left a short message, telling him that I looked forward to seeing him again and hoped to meet up with him again soon. He never called.
That was the day I went on my first date of the year. I was really excited to meet him. Trent and I met on an online dating site and had just started talking a few days before. He seemed perfect. He was tall, light brown hair, blue eyes, average build. He'd graduated from college, didn't do drugs, wasn't an alcoholic and had recently built a house in a new part of town. We met at a casual restaurant. Conversation was easy and he shared some of his meal with me. He asked me questions. I asked him questions. We laughed and I grew to like him more and more throughout dinner. He told me he would normally ask me out for a drink now, but he had an early morning flight.
He told me before we met that he would be out of town most of the week, but would fly back in on Friday. I understood that, so when he talked about having to leave right after dinner, and go back to the office and then home it totally made sense. However, since he was the one who insisted on getting together before he left town and knew I made significantly less money than he did, I thought he would pay. When the bill came he suggested we split it down the middle, not wanting to sound like a jerk, I didn't argue with him and paid half.
Before we parted ways, he apologized for being late and said we could talk when he got back on Friday. I don't remember him saying he'd call me or that I should call him, specifically. Which I now know is a blow off.
I waited for him to call on Friday, telling everyone how great of a date it was and how great he was. He didn't call on Friday. He hadn't called by Saturday afternoon either, so I called and left a short message, telling him that I looked forward to seeing him again and hoped to meet up with him again soon. He never called.
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