1. Battlefield by Jordin Sparks
2. If I Were a Boy by Beyonce
3. Hot & Cold by Katy Perry
4. My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne
5. Womanizer by Britney Spears
6. Piece of My Heart by Janice Joplin
(in progress)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
If He's Just Texting You...
A Few Things I Have Learned About Texters:
(men specifically)
1. If he only texts you, it means he doesn't want to waste actual minutes on you
2. If he is willing to argue with you for an hour and a half over texting, but claims he's too busy to call you to have an actual conversation - he's not only inconsiderate of you, but he's not thinking about whoever he's "busy" with either.
3. If he only texts you after midnight, and is always drunk when he does so, he's not viewing you as a long-term relationship.
4. If you've told him time and time again not to contact you after a certain time, and he contacts you anyways, he obviously doesn't respect you, and probably never will.
5. If he doesn't respond to your phone calls, and only your texts - he doesn't consider you an actual human being and would prefer to imagine you as non-human as possible.
Now, I'm not getting down on texters. I do some texting myself, but it is to send a quick declarative statement or a simple question. I do not send out texts with open ended questions that could lead to conversation. Talking on the phone vs. texting is just as distracting to me as it is to the people around me. If you want a conversation call. If you don't have time to call don't ask the long questions. The person on the other end may feel like they're being short-changed and like you don't care. You might as well just send the text saying "I don't care enough about you to call so I'm texting you instead."
(men specifically)
1. If he only texts you, it means he doesn't want to waste actual minutes on you
2. If he is willing to argue with you for an hour and a half over texting, but claims he's too busy to call you to have an actual conversation - he's not only inconsiderate of you, but he's not thinking about whoever he's "busy" with either.
3. If he only texts you after midnight, and is always drunk when he does so, he's not viewing you as a long-term relationship.
4. If you've told him time and time again not to contact you after a certain time, and he contacts you anyways, he obviously doesn't respect you, and probably never will.
5. If he doesn't respond to your phone calls, and only your texts - he doesn't consider you an actual human being and would prefer to imagine you as non-human as possible.
Now, I'm not getting down on texters. I do some texting myself, but it is to send a quick declarative statement or a simple question. I do not send out texts with open ended questions that could lead to conversation. Talking on the phone vs. texting is just as distracting to me as it is to the people around me. If you want a conversation call. If you don't have time to call don't ask the long questions. The person on the other end may feel like they're being short-changed and like you don't care. You might as well just send the text saying "I don't care enough about you to call so I'm texting you instead."
Dennis's Matchmaking Service
Are you a foreigner coming to the U.S for an extended period of time in the near future, and would like a girlfriend? Look no further than Dennis's Matchmaking Service. He has a female coworker who is single and is right for just about anyone, after all aren't all single people the same?
Last week I was confronted with the idea of being matched up with a colleague I've never heard of, from India. My friend/coworker evidently was talking to this guy over IM, who thought he may be coming to the U.S soon for training. He was looking to get a girlfriend, and my name was given or something. I'm not completely sure. Dennis began talking to me about him and how nice he was, and how different he is compared to the other guys I've gone out with, hilighting a few major points as being jerks, stupid and being gay. Okay, so my very first boyfriend ever, turned out to be gay. I was six at the time, how was I to know?
Anyway, he kept talking about how nice this guy was and how quickly he'd learned English and could use slang and shorthand. He then sent me a picture of the guy, stating that a fellow female coworker of ours said he was cute. I'm sure he would be after I pulled out my machete and hacked down the uni-brow into a pair of brows instead. Dennis also reported the guy liked Chinese food. I can imagine our first date already...first stop salon, and end at a Chinese buffet down the street.
As it turns out, he will not be coming to the U.S. Only his boss will be coming, and no one mentioned him needing a date.
Last week I was confronted with the idea of being matched up with a colleague I've never heard of, from India. My friend/coworker evidently was talking to this guy over IM, who thought he may be coming to the U.S soon for training. He was looking to get a girlfriend, and my name was given or something. I'm not completely sure. Dennis began talking to me about him and how nice he was, and how different he is compared to the other guys I've gone out with, hilighting a few major points as being jerks, stupid and being gay. Okay, so my very first boyfriend ever, turned out to be gay. I was six at the time, how was I to know?
Anyway, he kept talking about how nice this guy was and how quickly he'd learned English and could use slang and shorthand. He then sent me a picture of the guy, stating that a fellow female coworker of ours said he was cute. I'm sure he would be after I pulled out my machete and hacked down the uni-brow into a pair of brows instead. Dennis also reported the guy liked Chinese food. I can imagine our first date already...first stop salon, and end at a Chinese buffet down the street.
As it turns out, he will not be coming to the U.S. Only his boss will be coming, and no one mentioned him needing a date.
My Boss's Daughter
Noo, this isn't a review of the 2003 Ashton Kutchter and Tara Reid movie. In this little scenario I am the boss's daughter, and my parents are making a second round...(or third perhaps) of matching me up with one of my dad's assistants. This is the second with "Nick". They wanted me to meet him last summer too, but then they realized he actually had girlfriend. Oops! Evidently, he doesn't always keep his boss abreast of his dating life. Please respond to this if you do.
However, I learned at a recent family dinner, that "Nick" broke up with his girlfriend, and is now available. This guy just graduated from college last summer, and I graduated from college the firsdt time, before he'd graduated high school. However, he is a year older now, and in the rebound stage...perfect for jumping into a commited relationship with your boss's daughter ;-)
I still have never met the guy since opportunities for me to stop by my dad's office, on the other end of town, no where near even shopping, to say I'm in the neighborhood. Fortunately for me, an opportunity has presented itself. I am moving and will need help with my heavy and bulky furniture pieces. Not to worry everyone! "Nick" has been contacted on my behalf ,and will be present on the important day. I will no doubt, look worse that day than any other day of the year. That's how it works right? You meet the hot guy when you look your absolute worst? Oh and considering I am somewhat of a control freak, he'll be able to see that full force that day. I tend to be very organized and focused on moving days.
However, I learned at a recent family dinner, that "Nick" broke up with his girlfriend, and is now available. This guy just graduated from college last summer, and I graduated from college the firsdt time, before he'd graduated high school. However, he is a year older now, and in the rebound stage...perfect for jumping into a commited relationship with your boss's daughter ;-)
I still have never met the guy since opportunities for me to stop by my dad's office, on the other end of town, no where near even shopping, to say I'm in the neighborhood. Fortunately for me, an opportunity has presented itself. I am moving and will need help with my heavy and bulky furniture pieces. Not to worry everyone! "Nick" has been contacted on my behalf ,and will be present on the important day. I will no doubt, look worse that day than any other day of the year. That's how it works right? You meet the hot guy when you look your absolute worst? Oh and considering I am somewhat of a control freak, he'll be able to see that full force that day. I tend to be very organized and focused on moving days.
The New Mexican Match Up
I have the greatest family. I really do. All they want is for their daughter/granddaughter/niece/cousin to be happi (ly married). I should not have been surprised when my dear aunt tried to match me up with a guy who lives about a thousand miles away from me. I remember her talking about my uncle's intern last summer, but neither of us did anything about it...not until this summer. I had the "good fortune" to get the opinions of my grandparents on him too, who have met "Bill" while down in NM.
Over the next few days I learned very little about him, except that he and I should really start writing each other, and what a nice guy he is. Unfortunately, they did not have pictures of the guy, despite my uncle being an amateur photographer, who takes pictures of EVERYTHING. I learned "Bill" has some facial hair, likes to cook, and is very nice. He also has recently received his Ph. D in Hydrology, which my uncle referred to as a Ph. D in Stupidty. I wasn't sure if he was referring to the usefulness of the degree or to his intern.
One evening while my family and I were sitting out by the bonfire, my aunt brought him up, in which my grandma and grandpa reassured me that the guy was a "very nice man". I then asked the question one should never ask in the presence of ones' grandparents or at least not mine, "Is he cute?" Do not ask that! All I heard for the next few minutes was how you shouldn't base your interest in person on looks, and that you should focus on their inner beauty.
I thought that would have been the wrong moment to point out to my grandma that she has unashamably bragged about grandpa's looks in the past. Obviously looks played a part for her too;-)
At the end of my vacation my aunt sat me down with a piece of paper and a pencil and had me write down my email address and phone number. She claimed he'd been asking about me and that unlike me, he'd actually seen pictures of me taken from the previous summer. She also gave me "Bill's" email address.
It's been over three weeks since then, and they've definitely had time to give him my email address. Hmmm....I wonder if he put my address where I put his. On the refrigerator, so just in case I get an email from someone I don't know, I can check it against his.
Over the next few days I learned very little about him, except that he and I should really start writing each other, and what a nice guy he is. Unfortunately, they did not have pictures of the guy, despite my uncle being an amateur photographer, who takes pictures of EVERYTHING. I learned "Bill" has some facial hair, likes to cook, and is very nice. He also has recently received his Ph. D in Hydrology, which my uncle referred to as a Ph. D in Stupidty. I wasn't sure if he was referring to the usefulness of the degree or to his intern.
One evening while my family and I were sitting out by the bonfire, my aunt brought him up, in which my grandma and grandpa reassured me that the guy was a "very nice man". I then asked the question one should never ask in the presence of ones' grandparents or at least not mine, "Is he cute?" Do not ask that! All I heard for the next few minutes was how you shouldn't base your interest in person on looks, and that you should focus on their inner beauty.
I thought that would have been the wrong moment to point out to my grandma that she has unashamably bragged about grandpa's looks in the past. Obviously looks played a part for her too;-)
At the end of my vacation my aunt sat me down with a piece of paper and a pencil and had me write down my email address and phone number. She claimed he'd been asking about me and that unlike me, he'd actually seen pictures of me taken from the previous summer. She also gave me "Bill's" email address.
It's been over three weeks since then, and they've definitely had time to give him my email address. Hmmm....I wonder if he put my address where I put his. On the refrigerator, so just in case I get an email from someone I don't know, I can check it against his.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Happy Endings Are For Stories That Haven't Finished Yet
Who I thought was my knight in shining armor, turned out to be just another guy who doesn't know what he wants. Who I thought was a great guy and possible soul mate, turned out to be a guy who still isn't ready for a serious relationship. And who I thought could be a best friend, who I could hang out with, turned out to be someone who will always be more of a stranger.
If I were to give this guy a new title, changing it from The Gentleman, I would change it to "It's Not You, It's Me" guy. As it turned out he was too busy to have a girlfriend, a reality that I had to point out to him myself. Aside from the first two dates, I was the initiator of the next two times we saw each other, with him never mentioning when he wanted to see me or when he would see me next. Wait, hold that thought. He did promise to invite me over on a Sunday afternoon and when we went out last Thursday, asked to see me on Saturday, then completely forgot we even had the conversations.
The reason he never asked me out was because he spends a lot of time with his friends and mom and sporting events. So I've come realize something...if a guy would rather hang out with his friends than a woman, then he's not that interested. If a guy spends a lot of time with his mom, she'll probably hate me for taking him away from her. And if a guy is a sports fanatic, unless I become one too I'll never see him anyway.
Adding onto the male bonding, oedipus complex and sports fixation he also has decent number of gay tendencies. Each one alone means nothing, but them all added together could look suspicious to a blind man. He likes to clothes shop so he dresses well. He not only likes to decorate, but is good at it. He likes to dance. He keeps his living space neat and tidy and likes to keep things organized. He has a gay best friend who he has frequented gay bars with and participiated in few drag shows, in which he was runner up both times.
So as you can see, in this case the cliche of "it's not you, it's me" really does apply. Although I am hurt that it didn't work out, and believe beyond a reasonable doubt that if he wasn't so busy, it wouldn't have worked out anyway. I now know that I'll never go back, because I never go back. It's a rule I made for myself years ago, and I've never broken it.
We have now agreed to be friends, but that is all up to him.
If I were to give this guy a new title, changing it from The Gentleman, I would change it to "It's Not You, It's Me" guy. As it turned out he was too busy to have a girlfriend, a reality that I had to point out to him myself. Aside from the first two dates, I was the initiator of the next two times we saw each other, with him never mentioning when he wanted to see me or when he would see me next. Wait, hold that thought. He did promise to invite me over on a Sunday afternoon and when we went out last Thursday, asked to see me on Saturday, then completely forgot we even had the conversations.
The reason he never asked me out was because he spends a lot of time with his friends and mom and sporting events. So I've come realize something...if a guy would rather hang out with his friends than a woman, then he's not that interested. If a guy spends a lot of time with his mom, she'll probably hate me for taking him away from her. And if a guy is a sports fanatic, unless I become one too I'll never see him anyway.
Adding onto the male bonding, oedipus complex and sports fixation he also has decent number of gay tendencies. Each one alone means nothing, but them all added together could look suspicious to a blind man. He likes to clothes shop so he dresses well. He not only likes to decorate, but is good at it. He likes to dance. He keeps his living space neat and tidy and likes to keep things organized. He has a gay best friend who he has frequented gay bars with and participiated in few drag shows, in which he was runner up both times.
So as you can see, in this case the cliche of "it's not you, it's me" really does apply. Although I am hurt that it didn't work out, and believe beyond a reasonable doubt that if he wasn't so busy, it wouldn't have worked out anyway. I now know that I'll never go back, because I never go back. It's a rule I made for myself years ago, and I've never broken it.
We have now agreed to be friends, but that is all up to him.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The True Gentleman
This is not a story of a dating disaster. This is a story of how quite possibly there is a point to all the disappointment, suffering, heart-ache and lonely nights I have endured this year. Perhaps the reason why I had to "kiss" so many "frogs" was so that I would truly appreciate and know when someone worthy of my attention and affection, came along. I believe I may have found such a person.
This story began two weeks ago. I decided to sign in to a popular online dating site, which I had neglected for the past two months. I had found myself reading enormous amounts of romance novels, wishing I could find someone who would have that much passion for me like the men in the novels had for their women. On Sunday night, May 30th I began searching through profiles of local men. I found two that sparked my interest and sent "winks" to both them. Within the evening I had received "winks" back from both, showing interest. I then emailed both of them. I heard back from Jay first, with a short message telling me to add him on IM. I did the next day, or thought I had, but a few days later I had a request to be added from him. We talked in the afternoon on Friday over IM, and when I was about to leave work, was surprised when he asked to meet me that evening for a drink. I agreed and we quickly arranged when and where to meet.
I didn't have high hopes going into the date. Obviously I hadn't had great luck so far this year so what was going to make this night any different? The odds were stacked against me, also his picture wasn't as impressive as the other guy's and so far all I'd talked to him about was his job...and remembering a comment he'd made that made me think he was a little cocky by saying perhaps he was the one I'd been looking for. Maybe someone else would have found it romantic but my cyncism got the best of me and the only thing I could think of was, "Probably not", although I didn't say it.
Since I hadn't been on a date since the snow had melted I decided to wear a dress. It was a black cotton v-neck dress, that I knew I'd not only impress with, but I would also feel completely comfortable in, even if the date turned out to be a dud. And unlike all my previous dates this year where I showed up about 10 min early, wearing a sweater and jeans, I decided to let the guy wait for me this time, after all waiting to see Mr Right walk into the room hadn't worked so far, may as well change it up.
I walked into the restaurant and was directed towards the bar area, where we had agreed to meet. I looked around the bar in a swift glance and saw mostly couples...except for one lonely guy in the button down white shirt and jeans, at the end of the bar, who looked like he could resemble my date. I took a deep breath and started walking towards him, hoping he'd look better than his picture, but preparing for him to look worse, as most of them do.
He turned towards me as I walked in his direction, and he questionably called my name. As I walked closer I was delighted to find he looked better than his picture. He got off his stool and came over to greet me, and then led me out to the patio to sit (I knew people were supposed to wait to be seated at any other place than the bar, but after a brief question of whether we should be seating ourselves, I decided to go with it).
From the first moment we sat down we hit it off. My other dates that I thought had gone well, but turned out to be one-sided, were not half as good as this date turned out to be. Conversation flowed and before we knew it we'd been there a few hours. We'd ordered a shrimp appetizer after realizing we both loved seafood and talked about a wide variety of topics. When it became chilly we decided to go hang out as his new house, and kept things platonic while we watched a DVD of stand-up comedian Dane Cook and sang the theme song to "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" together.
He acted like a gentleman, opening doors for me and actually sounding interestd in what I had to say. He was funny, yet kind...and when I went over to hang out with him the next night to watch a movie...he continued to show what a great person he was. I found that unlike the other guys who maybe had a house, great job, a dog, lots of friends...etc, they didn't have what I really liked about this guy, whichw as character. He displayed the characteristics he reported to have on his profile such as romantic, trustworthy, dependable, loyal, honest...all things the others desperately lacked.
So, although I have only had two dates with him, talked with him over IM sparingly throughout the week and then saw for a little bit on Friday, I feel like I've known him longer, and that if he continues to do what he says he'll do and expresses himself as he's done...this could turn out to be something wonderful.
This story began two weeks ago. I decided to sign in to a popular online dating site, which I had neglected for the past two months. I had found myself reading enormous amounts of romance novels, wishing I could find someone who would have that much passion for me like the men in the novels had for their women. On Sunday night, May 30th I began searching through profiles of local men. I found two that sparked my interest and sent "winks" to both them. Within the evening I had received "winks" back from both, showing interest. I then emailed both of them. I heard back from Jay first, with a short message telling me to add him on IM. I did the next day, or thought I had, but a few days later I had a request to be added from him. We talked in the afternoon on Friday over IM, and when I was about to leave work, was surprised when he asked to meet me that evening for a drink. I agreed and we quickly arranged when and where to meet.
I didn't have high hopes going into the date. Obviously I hadn't had great luck so far this year so what was going to make this night any different? The odds were stacked against me, also his picture wasn't as impressive as the other guy's and so far all I'd talked to him about was his job...and remembering a comment he'd made that made me think he was a little cocky by saying perhaps he was the one I'd been looking for. Maybe someone else would have found it romantic but my cyncism got the best of me and the only thing I could think of was, "Probably not", although I didn't say it.
Since I hadn't been on a date since the snow had melted I decided to wear a dress. It was a black cotton v-neck dress, that I knew I'd not only impress with, but I would also feel completely comfortable in, even if the date turned out to be a dud. And unlike all my previous dates this year where I showed up about 10 min early, wearing a sweater and jeans, I decided to let the guy wait for me this time, after all waiting to see Mr Right walk into the room hadn't worked so far, may as well change it up.
I walked into the restaurant and was directed towards the bar area, where we had agreed to meet. I looked around the bar in a swift glance and saw mostly couples...except for one lonely guy in the button down white shirt and jeans, at the end of the bar, who looked like he could resemble my date. I took a deep breath and started walking towards him, hoping he'd look better than his picture, but preparing for him to look worse, as most of them do.
He turned towards me as I walked in his direction, and he questionably called my name. As I walked closer I was delighted to find he looked better than his picture. He got off his stool and came over to greet me, and then led me out to the patio to sit (I knew people were supposed to wait to be seated at any other place than the bar, but after a brief question of whether we should be seating ourselves, I decided to go with it).
From the first moment we sat down we hit it off. My other dates that I thought had gone well, but turned out to be one-sided, were not half as good as this date turned out to be. Conversation flowed and before we knew it we'd been there a few hours. We'd ordered a shrimp appetizer after realizing we both loved seafood and talked about a wide variety of topics. When it became chilly we decided to go hang out as his new house, and kept things platonic while we watched a DVD of stand-up comedian Dane Cook and sang the theme song to "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" together.
He acted like a gentleman, opening doors for me and actually sounding interestd in what I had to say. He was funny, yet kind...and when I went over to hang out with him the next night to watch a movie...he continued to show what a great person he was. I found that unlike the other guys who maybe had a house, great job, a dog, lots of friends...etc, they didn't have what I really liked about this guy, whichw as character. He displayed the characteristics he reported to have on his profile such as romantic, trustworthy, dependable, loyal, honest...all things the others desperately lacked.
So, although I have only had two dates with him, talked with him over IM sparingly throughout the week and then saw for a little bit on Friday, I feel like I've known him longer, and that if he continues to do what he says he'll do and expresses himself as he's done...this could turn out to be something wonderful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
